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bokunoheros · 3 months ago

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TAGS/WARNINGS: gn reader but afab with descriptions of feminine clothing (also katsuki calls you princess like once or twice idk), alcohol consumption, everyone is 24+, shouto is bisexual asf, katsuki and reader are married, reader did not go pro, some mlm action (todobaku content scattered throughout bc i am a god and can make them do whatever i want!!), shouto cucks a little bit, also shouto is a nasty closet perv lol, overstimulation, inappropriate quirk usage, oral (reader receiving), spit roasting, backshots, idk what else i could possibly mention other than this is nothing but filth GENRE: SMUTTTT MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI 18+ ONLY SUMMARY: after a party celebrating their top spot as heroes, shoto gets a little too drunk and has to stay the night with you and your husband, dynamight. shenanigans ensue. a new boyfriend is acquired? WORD COUNT: one million billion (jk it’s 10.4K) 🦊’s A/N: god help me. shoutout XENOVA for the celebration party idea. uhm pt2 maybe if this blows up idk. also this was not proofread bc i’m running out of time and it’s too long. and uhm its not exactly manga-canon bc i think deku deserves to be the no.1 hero idgaf. horikoshi when i catch you. // anyway enjoy lol

it was mina’s idea to hold the party originally, and you who offered to host, since you were the one dating the number two pro hero, dynamight, and had enough space to accompany the old class 1-A. it took a little persuasion from your end to get katsuki on board, but he eventually agreed, despite his bitching about how you two needed to whip this place into shape before anyone dared to set foot into your shared home.

this, of course, meant more work for you in the end since your husband was so terribly busy with work. ….that’s not to say he wasn’t helpful, though; of course not! whenever he wasn’t bone tired from whatever villain attack or whatever there was that day, he was more than happy to help you pick up (well…… that’s how the phrase goes, at least; bakugou himself didn’t mind cleaning with you and helping out around the house, per se, it’s just that he always came off as aggressive in the everything that he did) and really start getting the house ready for the upcoming party this weekend.

when it was all said and done, everything had been dusted and all the floors swept and vacuumed; the pillows on the living room couch had been fluffed and the kitchen counters were wiped down and had been bleached in preparation for the day you were about to spend in the kitchen cooking for this party. at least katsuki was there to help you with this the most out of all the other chores — and it was really the most time consuming one, too, so his help here was greater than he realized. him being an actually good cook just so happened to be an extra, heaven-sent bonus.

despite this, you had actually gone out of your way to prepare three main courses: (cold) soba, katsudon, and then something on the spicier side for your husband for the top three heroes you were celebrating tonight, along with some appetizers and snacks, of course.

finally, the day of the party was upon you, and you finished running your last couple of errands (namely stocking up on alcohol) right as ashido and the rest of the girls arrived in a limo. …..guess yaomomo went all out, huh? well, it's not like you could exactly blame her—it had been years since you had All been together due to everyone being busy with their own work, even now there were a few who couldn't make it, like satou and koji, or mezou and fumikage, due to circumstances out of their control. it was a shame really, you would have loved to have some of rikido’s sweets since he was such a good baker. ah, must not have been meant to be then. no use in dwelling on it. especially when everyone was beginning to pull up!

“eeee, my pookie! how have you been!? how’s life with baku—no, dynamight?!” mina eagerly squeals as she runs towards you, arms extended and ready to grip you in a crushing hug.

“ackgh–! too tight, too tight–!” you choke out as she squeezes you half to death.

“oh, sorry!” she apologizes, letting go and backing up slightly as the rest of the old 1-A girls come up behind her and the limo driver drives back to yaoyorozu’s manor until it was time to come pick the ladies back up. “now. spill all the tea,” she says, giving you a serious look all of a sudden, and you feel a smile stretch across your face. it’s nice to know she’s just the same as she was in high school.

“well—why don’t you come in and see for yourself?” you gesture to your shared home, to which the girls gawked at in awe. it wasn’t an estate or anything like yaomomo’s place of residence, but it was certainly large enough to accompany everyone attending and then some.

leading them inside, you open the already unlocked door (katsuki was busy in the kitchen aggressively finishing up the fruit platters and charcuterie boards, making sure they were up to his standards before serving them) and led them all in.

“kats, ‘m home! n’ all the girls are here!” you shout loud enough from him to hear you from the foyer.

your husband swears and grumbles under his breath, eyes darting to look at the clock just as it struck 17:00 (that’s 5pm for those of you who don’t use the 24hr format). goddammit, they were perfectly on time. whatever, he was done arranging the meats and cheeses of the charcuteries anyway.

moving to set the trays on the coffee table in the living room for everyone to enjoy, he greets you at the door with the softest little smile ever, one mina just barely catches sight off, which she immediately teases him for and his usual scowl makes a re-appearance in record time as he becomes prickly and sharp again, huffing out a gruff make yourselves at home or whatever.

after that, it was another twenty-ish minutes before nearly everyone else arrived.

shouto, however, was the last to get there due to him getting into an argument with his father prior to leaving. it was a surprise to even himself that he decided to come anyway, but he had grown to be more sociable than he was back in high school, and also he was one of the three people the party was actually being thrown for, so…. it would just be incomplete without him there, and he recognized that.

soon, the party kicked into full swing and the alcohol was excitedly opened and everyone could feel themselves relaxing as it grew closer to dinnertime—which you happily (and tipsily) served to everyone around half past seven.

once everyone had eaten and had time to let their food settle, people began saying their goodbyes as the night grew later and later. all except shouto, that was, who was actively still drinking, sitting on your couch with a bottle of sake in his left hand as he watches everyone else clears out.

“fuck’s he doin’? just sittin’ there,” bakugou grumbles, coming up to stand next to you after seeing eijirou and denki to the door (uptight as he could be, even your husband was capable of relaxing after a drink or two…. or several). he wasn’t… erm, upset with shouto’s prolonged visit, per se, but he was definitely tired and wanted some alone time with his spouse for fuck’s sake.

“be nice, ‘tsuki,” you scold him lightly, moving to walk towards shouto, who had a sleepy look in his eyes, to stand in front of him. “hey, todo, y’okay?” you ask, waving a hand in front of his tired face.

“mmh? ‘m fine.” his words slur together slightly as he refocuses his blurry gaze on you, and for a moment, the number 3 pro hero thinks you look like an angel sent from heaven to take care of him—until katsuki ruins the moment by walking over and saying;

“great, then you can obviously get yourself home!”

“katsuki!” you hiss, looking over to where he stood next to you. “you can stay the night if you need to, shouto,” you tell him softly, squatting down in front of him and placing a hand on each knee to look up at him from almost between his legs — something your husband absolutely did not appreciate.

“hey—” he tries to interject, but the young todoroki had already accepted your kind offer, knowing better than to walk or drive home in his current state.

“relax, kats, he can sleep on the couch if you don’t want him in a guest bedroom—even though that’s what they’re for,” you suggest/remind him.

“i guess,” he huffs, crossing his arms as you finally stand back up.

shouto, meanwhile, moves to stand up from where he sat, swaying a bit before you put both hands on his broad shoulders and force him to sit back down.

“nuh-uh, you sit right there, sir,” you say playfully. “is there something you need?” you ask, raising an eyebrow as katsuki grits his teeth while you tend to that drunk icyhot cunt. (as if he himself wasn’t also wasted).

shouto pauses to think for a moment, thinking about his words carefully before opening his mouth.

“do you have any—” he lags and forgets the word he’s looking for mid-sentence. “uhm. ….unfrozen ice?” he asks, tilting his head partially to the side like a confused creature might.

“oh my god,” bakugou groans at his request as you break out into a fit of giggles. “you fucking mean water?” he asks his fellow pro-hero. god. what a sorry fuckin’ sight he was — can’t-stand-up-drunk on katsuki’s couch, while he forgot a word as basic as water. jesus christ, he cannot believe you offered to let this fool stay here without even asking him if it was okay first. whatever. he’d just have to fuck you so good that that walking peppermint couldn’t sleep at all. yeah, he could totally do that.

“water, yes,” shouto follows up as you have to wipe the tears from your eyes at his drunken words. standing up straight, having doubled over from laughter, you nod and tell him yeah, we have unfrozen ice, and that you’ll get him some.

after you had left the room, though, katsuki huffs loudly and stares down at shouto, who was still seated on the plush sofa.

“listen, todoroki,” he spits out, one hand splaying out in an aggressive manner as his quirk popped off quietly. despite the alcohol in his system, katsuki was still just as…. well, just as aggressive and competitive as always despite the way he had grown more outwardly affectionate (towards you specifically) over the course of the evening.

“i dunno, or care, what you’re trying but just know—” an embarrassing hic cuts him off and his face flushes from more than just the alcohol. suddenly, his big tough guy act drops as his blush reaches the tips of his ears and you come back into the room with two cups of water, handing one off to shouto and the other to your husband.

both men silently and gratefully take the glasses from you, gulping it down before they even realized just how thirsty they were until the cups were empty and they were looking at you, causing you to suddenly feel small under their intense gazes.

“‘ll go—get s’more,” you slur, taking the now empty glasses back from the two men, and also this moment alone to calm your racing heart, and maybe pour yourself another shot. or two. or three. calm down, you’re only alone with the two finest men in the world — one of which you’re married to!! you think to yourself as you begin pouring them another glass from the nice water pitcher you had specifically set out for tonight.

taking the bottle of vodka from its spot on the counter, you look at how much is left and simply decide on drinking straight from the bottle and polishing it off. little did you know, you’d need that liquid courage for later on tonight. before bringing the two well-built men their water, you dispose of the vodka bottle, putting it in the recycling and heading back into the living room.

after a comment from katsuki about how it was getting late, you escort shouto upstairs to a guest bedroom and show him where the bathroom is before excusing yourself to your shared bedroom, shutting the door quietly behind you, just for katsuki to barge in seconds later as you move to the master bathroom to start brushing your teeth.

he joins you shortly after, having discarded his nicer dress shirt and pants in the bedroom’s laundry basket, leaving him far more comfortable in his unfairly flattering black boxer briefs.

“jesus—kats, how are you so fuckin’ fine?” you ask after spitting out a mouthful of toothpaste, and he only chuckles and lets a small smile stretch across his lips.

“dunno—could ask you the same thing, though,” he quips back, grabbing his own toothbrush from the little cup it sat in, running it under the water before putting the toothpaste on it and bringing it up to his already white teeth and scrubbing the night’s grime away.

you giggle at his words, running your toothbrush under the water and giving your teeth a final once over with the brush and scrape your tongue, rinsing it one final time, and then tapping it against the sink’s edge to get some of the excess water out.

finally, you made your way to the bed, sitting on the edge of it as you watch your husband finish up in the bathroom before he stalks over to you, an almost predatory look in his eye as he comes to tower over you and you can feel a chill run down your spine as he sizes you up from your spot on the king sized bed.

“katsuki..? what’re you—”

your question is almost immediately cut off as his slightly chapped lips come crashing down against yours as he knocks you back onto the bed and stands between your now spread legs—which quickly wrap around his narrow waist as his large and calloused hands find purchase on your hips.

“mmmfgh,” your hum turns into a moan as you focus on the feeling of your husband’s lips against yours, melting into him as he leans over you, teeth clacking slightly as he tilts his head for a better angle to kiss you at.

“was getting tired of that icyhot bastard,” he grumbles, eyebrows furrowing together as the grip on your hips tighten possessively at the mention of shouto, as if your husband wasn’t the one to bring him up?

his words make you chuckle nonetheless as a smile spreads over your pretty, soon to be kiss-swollen, lips as you lean back on your palms, the bed sinking beneath your weight.

“‘m sorry, tsuki,” you mumble softly before you feel his tongue run over your lower lip, silently begging for entrance to your hot mouth — to which you eagerly granted access to, moaning quietly when he licks into your mouth. he tastes like tequila and spicy udon, and it’s utterly intoxicating (or maybe that was the last of the vodka you’d downed earlier taking effect). “didn’ mean t’invite him withou’ askin’ you,” you slur out, rolling your hips up against his growing erection.

“‘s okay, i guess,” he pants, pulling away only slightly in order to look you in the eyes, letting you know that he really didn’t mind. sure, shouto was quiet and didn’t actually interfere with what he had planned tonight (or so he thought), so he was only mildly annoyed instead of genuinely bothered. besides….. he had left the door partially open after barging into the bedroom on purpose… just in case that walking candy cane happened to overhear and wanted a peak at the show he wouldn’t be allowed to join.

and just like that, your husband’s lips come crashing down against yours yet again, tongue easily seeking out your own and swirling around yours before sucking it into his mouth, humming pleasantly around the wet muscle (he was in a shockingly good mood, actually…. guess he enjoyed the party more than he let on—that and the alcohol was a large factor, too) before pulling off of it with a nasty, wet pop! noise.

“mmh, glad you’re not mad,” you mutter, eyes fluttering open to take a peek at him. and what you saw was downright angelic — a harsh contrast from his usual demeanor and appearance.

“why would i be?” he asks, and you straight up laugh, ruining the moment entirely. “hey–!”

“sorry, ‘m sorry—it’s just—” you wipe a tear from your eye. “you’re usually not so— what’s the word? calm? something like that,” you try explaining to him, a smile gracing your features.

“i’m calm! i’m always calm!” he spits out, raising his voice, sending you into another round of laughter.

“god—i love ya s’much, kats,” you tell him after composing yourself, shifting on the bed so you were leaning against the plush pillows lining the headboard and bakugou eagerly follows after you, moving between your legs, which easily wrapped back around his hips, pulling him closer against you, and he shifted so that he was propping himself up on a forearm, his other hand coming to press against the small of your back, arching it for you as his lips found their way to your neck, where he began to nip at the sensitive skin there.

“you’re pretty great too, i s'pose,” he grins against your flesh before beginning to suck at the junction of your neck and shoulder, determined to leave a mark dark enough to last a week, at least.

“yeah? ‘s good t’hear,” you giggle breathily as he assaults your neck, and one hand comes to cradle the back of his head, fingers threading through his mysteriously spiky hair (you’ve never once seen him use hair gel—hell, you’ve even searched his entire side of the bathroom because you didn’t believe him when he told you it’s just like that).

it doesn’t take long for bakugou to get fed up with the clothes separating your bare skin from his, desperate to physically feel you against him, and in record time, he has the skirt of your dress bunched up around your hips, you’re sitting up slightly, and he’s tugging the fabric the rest of the way off, carelessly throwing it onto the floor.

shouto, meanwhile, lay awake staring at the ceiling in your comfortable guest’s bed, drunkenly reminiscing back to high school, and the crush he didn’t know was a crush he had on you. had he known, he probably would have asked you out sometime in your senior year—instead, he misinterpreted his affections as an intimate friendship with admiration for you and your quirk. what always baffled him, though, is why you would pick katsuki bakugou to love out of all people (not like you really had a choice in the matter…… one day you woke up and realized your supposed hatred for him was, in fact, a bone-deep love that consumed you whole).

with an achy sigh, todoroki sits up and gets up to use the bathroom. after washing his hands and splashing his face with some cool water to sober up at least a little, his ears perk up on the way back to his temporary room. on his way back, however, he happened to catch the faintest echo of a feminine moan, and before he can stop himself, he’s silently stalking down the hall to the master bedroom, where he found the door to be cracked open wide enough for him to get a surprising view of dynamight with his head between your legs and your underwear and dress strewn across the otherwise neat floor.

immediately, his dick twitches to life in his nice dress pants and he nearly groans at the way you moan katsuki’s name so sweetly. god…. that should be me, he thinks to himself enviously as your husband focuses solely on eating you out.

“aa-ahh! mmm, katsuki!” you cry out, both hands coming down in attempt to push his face away from your messy cunt, but to no avail. katsuki offered you no respite as his hot tongue explored your puffy folds as he began to suck on your clit. “katsu—fuck!”

you’re ignorant to the feeling of another pair of eyes on you, too caught up in the feeling of being eaten out, but katsuki isn’t — he feels shouto’s burning gaze, and he can’t help but smirk to himself. so he was right: icyhot couldn’t resist a good show, and boy, was katsuki about to perform.

“hmm?” he hums, one hand resting on your thigh while he uses the forearm of his other arm to keep you from bucking your hips up. he doesn’t exactly care about what it is you’re whining about; he knows you’re fine and he intends to make you cum at least thrice tonight to show off to shouto, who was apparently a giant closeted pervert.

and it was true. shouto was nasty without even realizing it — and that’s not to say he slept around, god no (he was 24 and still a virgin….), he just had fantasies. many of which involved you, and shamefully, on occasion, you and katsuki. it made his cheeks burn to even think about, but he would be a liar if he said he’d never gotten off to the idea of a threesome with you and your husband. jesus, and now, here the opportunity was laid right there in front of him, and what was he doing? slowly starting to palm at his erection and bite his bottom lip as he watches the scene in front of him unfold.

“i— shit–!” you squeeze your eyes shut and arch your back as you tug at his hair. “god, just—! slow down!” you whine, and katsuki’s eye twitches.

like in every other aspect in his life, bakugou tended to be rough and aggressive in the bedroom; put simply, you turned him into a feral man—brought out the inner animal in him. he was, as surprising as it may seem to some, a generous lover, however, due to his have to be the best at everything mentality, so, by extension, this included his ability to give and inflict pleasure (mixed with a healthy amount of pain, because, well.. it’s katsuki).

“nah.” blatantly ignoring your request, he pulls his head away from your drooling pussy, the lower half of his face covered in your slick, and blows a cold puff of air against your throbbing slit, causing you to whine out his name as he nips at the fatty skin of your inner thigh—dangerously close to your cunt—sucking and biting until a dark purple mark begins to form. a smirk stretches over his somewhat thin, although plump, lips knowing shouto would never get to litter your body in bruises and hickeys the same way he does.

“mmh—jesus, kats–!” it’s all you can do to whimper as he resumes the disgustingly messy way he was tongue fucking your pussy.

shouto almost groans as he gets harder and harder, almost painfully so, as he watches katsuki fervently eat you out, and suddenly, he wishes it was him between your legs with bakugou watching instead.

as silently as he possibly can, todoroki begins to unbuckle his belt in order to slip a hand past the waistband of both his pants to feel himself through the fabric of his sickeningly tight boxers. he’s careful to bite back what would be any whimpers or quiet moans, knowing it’s so shotover for him if he gets caught.

“fuck,” he mutters under his breath, swallowing thickly as he watches as you’re eaten out until you’re cumming with a loud cry of your husband’s name (shouto pretended it was his name you were calling out), and he goes to turn around to hide in the bedroom you’d so kindly allowed him to stay in to jerk off until he hears—

�� “y’gonna come out, icyhot, or are ya just gonna stand there like a loser cuck all night?” katsuki lifts his head from between your legs to look at the half-and-half bastard peeping on him and his spouse…… what a fucking freak.

“sh–shouto!?” you squeak, not having noticed his presence until the man you’d married had pointed him out. “wh–what’re you—!” you can’t even think of what to say before he’s trying to apologize and katsuki’s cussing him out—telling him to get his ass in here before he really makes him sorry.

just how drunk was your husband? or shouto for that matter? truthfully, you were probably the most sober person in the room.

slowly, silently, and shamefully, shouto makes his way into your bedroom, where he comes to stand at the foot of the bed with a horribly noticeable tent in his pants. he wants to look down at the floor, but he’s physically incapable of taking his eyes off your naked, sweaty form—and katsuki’s toned back, for that matter. he gulps anxiously as he waits for the perpetually angry blond to inevitably break the ice.

much to his surprise, however, it was you to speak up first, admitting that you didn’t mind shouto’s presence—followed by katsuki sarcastically asking if you wanted him to join, to which your body stiffened and cheeks flushed at the thought.

“what? don’t tell me you like the idea of that half n’ half idiot joinin’ the fun?” a wicked grin stretches over his slick lips as he quirks a brow up at you before shrugging and saying; “fine, just remember: you asked for this.”

“you heard ‘em, todoroki, get the hell over here,” he spits out, and shouto complies immediately—he could not believe what was about to happen and neither could (nor katsuki for that matter).

as he closes the gap between you three, he fumbles with the buttons of his dress shirt before ultimately just ripping it open and shrugging it onto the floor. repeating the same action with his pants, he struggles slightly with the zipper before tugging it down and quickly stepping out of them, nearly tripping in the process—to which katsuki has to stifle a laugh.

shouto feels dizzy and light-headed from how hard he is, and he bites his thick bottom lip as he nervously crawls onto the oversized bed, sitting adjacent to you as he awaits further instructions from the ever-demanding bakugou.

“katsu—”

“shut up,” he says gruffly, one large hand coming up to cover your mouth—he was about to dictate everything that was about to go down. “you—todoroki—listen real fuckin’ closely, because i’m not repeating myself. you can look, but ‘m still deciding if you’re allowed to touch yet—” katsuki directs his attention from him to you and asks; “whaddya think, princess? would y’like that? both of us touchin’ you?” and it’s all you can do to nod, cheeks physically heating up in shame and embarrassment.

“i guess i’ll allow it, then,” he says, moving his hand away from your face so he can manhandle you into a sitting up position, making you straddle his lap and telling shouto to move behind you.

you feel your heartbeat quicken significantly now that you’re naked and sandwiched between two of the hottest men you’ve ever been blessed with the chance to encounter. dear god. take a breath, you’ve got this. …..and that’s why your pussy’s all but drooling right now? you can’t help but roll your bare cunt over your husband’s erection, letting out a delicious little moan in the process, and shouto’s equally large hands hesitantly find purchase on your hips, and you look back over your shoulder as he leans in attempt to kiss you—just to be blocked by katsuki’s hand against his pouty lips.

“i didn’t fuckin’ say you could kiss them,” he hisses. shouto, however, mentally shrugs this off, grabs the angry blond’s wrist to move his hand, and leans in over your shoulder, pressing his chest firmly against your back, in order to—kiss your husband instead????!

holy shit—this is so much hotter than it should be, jesus christ. you’re genuinely ashamed of the way shouto moving to kiss katsuki rather than you turns you on, and you even let a little oh my god slip in awe and horny amazement.

“what the actual fuck, icyhot!?” your husband explodes, trying to shove shouto away from him, but causing you to fall back fully into his lap, where you can feel his boner pressing up against your ass.

“n–no,” you speak up. “d–do it again.” you try your best not to mutter the request, looking between the man who had crushed on you all through high school and the one you’d ended up marrying.

“huh!? have you both lost your fucking minds?!”

“please..? do it for me, ‘tsuki?” you beg as sweetly as you can, a pout tugging at your lips as you did your best kicked puppy eyes. as tough as bakugou acted, deep down, he did, in fact, have a soft spot for you, and would do nearly anything for you—and this, unfortunately, was about to be one of the things he was willing to do. maybe he had the whiskey to thank for his… bravery, but for some reason, the idea of making out with that peppermint bastard really didn’t seem so bad. ….jesus, what is he thinking?

“tch, fine,” he clicks his tongue before he’s suddenly snatching you out of shouto’s lap and bringing you back onto his, where he shifts so his back’s against the headboard and says; “‘f y’can ride me, then sure, ‘ll do whatever you want, sweetheart.”

nodding eagerly, you tug the waistband of his boxers down just enough to free his aching cock, where it hits his lower tummy and you impatiently use one hand to line up the angry red tip with your slick entrance before sinking down to the base with ease. you both moan at the feeling and katsuki beckons shouto over after pressing a quick kiss to your shiny lips to remind himself why he was doing this.

shouto’s dick aches enviously, desperately wishing he could feel your heat, but quickly gets over it as his chest presses against your back once again and his lips land against katsuki’s. actually, todoroki was not an experienced kisser—at all, really; he was only copying what he had seen in movies, so he’s a little surprised when the blond’s tongue runs over the seam of his lips and his heterochromatic eyes fly open at the feeling.

katsuki, however, reaches around you to grab shouto’s cheeks, forcing him to part his pretty lips, and he easily slips his tongue past his kiss-swollen lips. meanwhile, shouto’s strong arms wrap around your waist while he allows your husband to explore the inside of his mouth, his face heating up despite the way a chill runs down his spine.

“mmh,” he hums quietly, freezing his tongue in order to give your husband a little surprise—which works very well, seeing as how katsuki pulls away with a heaving gasp.

“what the fuck?” he pants, rolling his hips up into dripping cunt, and you let out a little moan, grinding down against him at the same time, allowing him to brush up against your g-spot while shouto moves to kiss katsuki again, large hands coming up to cup his flushed, tanned cheeks, trying to tilt his head for a better angle as he mimics the way the blond’s tongue had run over the seam of his lips, and is pleasantly surprised when he reluctantly parts his slightly thinner lips for the much calmer man.

jesus christ, you think to yourself, trying to bounce against your husband’s dick to the best of you ability, but groaning in frustration when his absurdly calloused hands come down against your hips to hold you in place.

“mm—’tsuki,” you whine as he wholly focuses on kissing shouto (who was currently living out his wet dream). it’s all you can do to wiggle in place, trying to grind your clit against his neatly trimmed pubic hair, desperate for any kind of friction. meanwhile, shouto’s freezing hand comes up to grope your chest, causing you to let out a quiet yelp at the feeling of him tweaking roughly with your nipple.

poor, poor inexperienced shouto had no gauge or concept of what exactly he was doing, relying on instinct and everything he’d seen in the little porn he had watched; he silently prays he’s acting accordingly and soon his heated left hand is coming up to grab at your other tit.

“sh–shouto!” you moan, almost causing katsuki to pause in his action as a growl leaves his throat—now this just simply would not do, no, no, no. !!!! fuck! his dick twitches inside you as he ruts his hips upwards while holding firmly onto your hips. “je–jesus! katsuki!”

that’s better, he thinks to himself, a smug, self-satisfied smirk tugging at the corners of his plump lips as he tries not to overthink his kiss with todoroki. god. as fucking embarrassing, humiliating, and shameful as it was, …..katsuki absolutley could not deny the fact that he was feeling so, so, so many things right now, things he never would have considered sober, let alone acted on, and now….. now, he was rock fucking hard as he feels the inside of shouto’s mouth, tracing his tongue along the grooves of his blindingly white teeth and inner cheeks before swirling it around his own heated muscle.

he wants to tell shouto he’s not half bad at this when he begins to suck on his tongue—taking him violently by surprise—but can’t bring himself to dole out the praise, not wanting him to get an ego about how well he was managing to keep up.

you can feel your stomach doing flips and your pussy creaming around your husband’s cock as the two men you’re sandwiched between really go at it, and suddenly your mouth feels dry as you let out a low, drawn out whine.

“fuck,” is all you’re able to say as you dig your nails into katsuki’s back while arching your own, with shouto still pinching and tweaking with your poor, erect nipples—his hands were almost at extreme temperatures, and you choke out something about how good it feels, offering the number three hero the praise he needed—something bakugou wasn’t a huge fan of.

half n’ half wants to use his quirk? that’s fine—he can, too!

the next thing you know, your hips feel scorchingly hot and you’re hearing the sound of a very small-scale explosion, and you yelp out your husband’s name, pussy fluttering around his achy length, and you have to bite your lower lip when you feel tears welling up in your eyes from all the stimulation. had you known inviting a drunk shouto to stay the night would lead to this, you would have done it years ago! …because honestly, you were crushing hard on him your freshman year of highschool together—but unfortunately for you, that’s when he had first begun to actually explore his emotions for the first time in his life, leading you to believe you never stood a chance with him.

katsuki, however, while his primary emotion was anger, you could tell something was up with him and his feelings towards you when he stopped yelling at you as much compared to the others. don’t get one wrong, he definitely still shouted at you, because that’s just who he was, but….. it was enough for you and the girls of 1-A to pick up on—something they teased you relentlessly about behind closed doors because nobody ever dared to mention anything in front of bakugou in fear of ruining your chances together (as you see, mina and a few others were die hard shippers while the rest enabled this behavior).

“christ’s sake, katsuki,” you hiss as his quirk repeatedly pops off against your reddening skin and you have to physically bite your tongue to keep yourself grounded enough to scold him. …try to, anyway. “thi— this isn’t a—ahh! fuck!—a compe–titon! jesus!” you moan.

a competition.

that word ring in katsuki’s ears as he pulls away from his kiss with shouto, admittedly a little breathlessly, a smirk stretching over his glossy lips.

“now that’s an idea,” he muses out loud, causing shouto to tilt his head and your eyes to widen. goddammit, you just had to go and open your bigass mouth, didn’t you?

“n–no; whatever you— you’re planning, forget about it,” you say as firmly as you can despite the way your pussy flutters around him.

bakugou clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes at the way you whine out such a ridiculous request.

“mmh, nah,” he grins, hands holding you firmly in place against him, preventing you from even rolling your hips—something you’re quick to bitch about.

“god–dammit!” sometimes you wish your husband wasn’t so goddamn strong—it made it that much easier for him to manhandle you into any position he wanted.

“y’up for a little challenge, icyhot?” katsuki ignores you entirely, focusing his intense gaze onto the slightly younger man.

“...sure,” he nods, albeit a little reluctantly, unsure of what exactly he was agreeing to. he hopes he’ll get a chance to steal a kiss from you, but for now, he figures it best to go along with whatever bakugou was about to suggest.

“whoever can make princess here cum the most in five minutes each can fuck their cunt,” he begins, just for shouto to interrupt him.

“and what of the loser?”

“i was getting there—impatient sonuva bitch….” he mutters the last part under his breath like he wasn’t also an impatient sonuva bitch. “anyway, the loser—in this case, i’m sure it’ll be you, y’fuckin’ virgin cuck—can…. fuck right off and watch,” he finishes, cock twitching deep inside you at his own words. he was absolutely positive he’d win the little proposition he’d struck up, which is why the punishment for the loser was so harsh. when in all reality, if he was feeling kind enough, he’d let you suck shouto off as a consolation prize. ….maybe.

“sounds good to me,” todoroki agrees to bakugou’s conditions, feeling his own dick twitch as he steels his nerves—he was so fucked. in this moment, shouto’s never been more grateful for being a fast learner, as that was his only chance at possibly succeeding in such a task. he wasn’t particularly familiar with the afab body, and so he has to actively recall all the porn he had seen—mind you, he was incredibly picky about what exactly he’s watching—when suddenly an idea strikes him and he’s asking katsuki to move his hands so he can pull you off his cock and reposition you so your back was against the bed.

you and your husband are both confused until shouto’s pushing your thighs apart and nestling between them, icy lips kissing down your body until he reaches the mound of your dripping cunt, and you can’t help but get shy—not because you weren’t used to being eaten out, no (katsuki often ate you out until you couldn’t see straight), it was because you just simply were not expecting that from the inexperienced shouto todoroki! but it’s okay, just take a deep breath and—

“aa–aah! fuck! shouto!” you cry out, caught off guard by the way his full lips wrap around your erect clit and begin suckling on it, his freezing tongue moving to swirl around it as he does. he doesn’t exactly know what he’s doing and is more or less figuring it out as he goes based on your reactions and moans.

katsuki is just as taken aback as you were, but for totally different reasons; this was probably one of the last things he had expected todoroki to do, but, but, but…!!! fuck! he couldn’t even be mad about it either because he was the one who had decided to turn it into a competition. shit. okay, whatever, he’d just work around this.

“nngh–!” one of your hands comes to run through shouto’s split hair, tugging the soft locks gently. “wh–where the fuck did you—aah! hhngh!—learn h–how to do this?” you ask breathlessly, looking down at the man between your legs, and you feel a chill run down your spine and goosebumps erupt over your skin when you realize he’s looking right back at you—staring at you intently, doing his best to gauge all your little reactions, both verbal and physical.

katsuki can’t help but agree with your question, because seriously, where the fuck had he learned this shit!?

all he’s able to do, though, is watch with awe as shouto focuses wholly on his attempt to eat you out — which he was seemingly doing a good job at — as one large and calloused hand subconsciously comes down to jerk himself off slowly, thumb swiping over his bright red, leaky tip, and he hisses out a quiet fuck while your back arches off the bed.

shouto, however, doesn’t answer, in favor of bringing a heated finger down to your slick entrance — gently prodding at it before slipping it in with ease.

“mmmffgh,” you whine as he curls it up slowly, all while sucking on your throbbing clit, and it doesn’t take long for a knot to build up in your lower stomach. “nngh– sh–shouto!”

he simply ignores you as he begins to slip a second finger in—gradually heating them up as he did—and you moan pathetically as your husband watches on in awe, his mouth horribly dry and dick achingly hard, and for a moment, he’s scared he might cum to the sight of another man eating his spouse out—so he intentionally slows his pace to something almost painfully slow to make sure he doesn’t prematurely ejaculate, wanti—no, Needing to cum inside you.

starting to scissor you apart now, you clench around shouto’s burning fingers desperately, whining as his freezing right hand comes up to pinch one of your already stiff nipples.

“nngh–!” it’s not long before you’re cumming with a loud cry of shouto’s name while pulling at his soft hair, back arching deeply off the mattress as katsuki lets out a growl at the sight, already seething with envy….. whatever; he takes in a deep breath to calm himself down and slowly starts to increase the pace at which he’s jerking himself off, groaning softly as he does.

todoroki doesn’t relent in his pace, however, messily eating you out throughout the duration of your orgasm, resulting in you cumming a second time not long after.

“nnngh—’s too much, shouto—” you choke out, pulling at his hair while trying to push him away at the same time. “f–fuck!” it had maybe been two minutes, meaning you had to endure for another three. but how exactly were you meant to do that? with the way he was all but making out with your cunt, you turn your attention to katsuki, pathetically mewling for help—just for him to shut you down! reminding you that you agreed to this and that he knows you can take it.

the most your husband had ever made you cum in one night was four times—a record he was gunning to beat tonight.

by the time shouto’s time was up, he had managed to make you cum three times, on his way to working you up to a fourth, before katsuki’s letting go of his dick and burying his thick fingers in todoroki’s hair, yanking him away from your pulsing heat.

“hey—” shouto pants breathlessly, lower face covered in your slick.

“time’s up, icyhot,” your husband rasps out before asking you how many times you’d cum.

“th– three, but— i need a break before we keep goin’,” you tell him, panting heavily with flushed cheeks and teary eyes.

katsuki simply nods in acknowledgement, untangling his fingers from shouto’s hair as all three of you take this moment to catch your breath. then, after a brief three or so minutes of rest, bakugou’s crawling on top of you as shouto watches on this time, cock leaky and painfully hard as he palms himself through his horribly tight boxers while katsuki kisses you.

“love ya, kats,” you’re able to pant out, and shouto feels his heart break a little; he wishes he could be on the receiving end of those words some day... but for now, he shifts so he’s kneeling on the bed, legs tucked neatly under him with his thighs spread wide enough for his heated left hand to sneak past the waistband of his boxers in order to grope himself.

bakugou smiles against your lips at your words rather than returning them, and his tongue slides out to poke its way into your already open mouth, easily licking over the insides of your cheeks and grooves of your teeth.

as he watches the two of you makeout, todoroki begins to reflect on his kiss with katsuki earlier, and he finds himself yearning to hear those three little words from him, too, or to be able to kiss you as well….. maybe when this is all said and done… maybe he can work up the courage to ask to join your relationship..? or maybe he’d leave early in the morning full of shame…. he isn’t quite sure yet.

“mmngh—” you moan softly as one of katsuki’s large and calloused hands trails down your side, moving to cup your puffy cunt, before two thick fingers easily insert themselves into you without much of a warning—fortunately, you were still soaked from your slick and shouto’s spit from where he’d eaten you out so good, so your husband didn’t meet any resistance when scissoring you apart. “k–katsu–!”

“yeah?” he pants as his cock drools uncomfortably. it’s okay. he’d just have to make you cum four times in five minutes, and—the idea that shouto might beat him at a challenge he proposed due to your fatigue from allowing that icyhot cunt to go first suddenly flashes in his mind, and he’s hardened over with a certain resolve he’d allowed to slip in his overwhelmingly horny state of mind.

“i— ah! hnnngh— ‘m still se–sensitive,” you whine out, arching your back off the bed at the stimulation, and it’s all you can do to pull at his hair when you feel the calloused pad of his thumb press against your swollen, oversensitive clit. as the fingers almost knuckle-deep inside you press into your g-spot, you go crosseyed from the combined feeling of being finger-fucked and having your tongue sucked on (when’d he start doing that!?).

katsuki, however, ignores your weak mewls in favor of kissing you so hard your teeth clack together briefly before he’s tilting his head for a better angle and nipping softly at your tongue, causing you to squeak in surprise.

rolling your hips up and grinding down against his hand, desperate for more fiction, shouto watches on in awe and horny amazement, taking notes on how your body reacted to katsuki, hoping he could imitate his actions, or develop them into his own, next time he got the chance.

soon, though, katsuki’s five minutes come to an end, with you only having cum twice by his doing—something that makes his eye twitch as he realizes that meant icyhot would get to fuck your cunt. ….goddammit! he’d gotten too caught up in the feeling of your lips against his to focus fully on fingering you! sure, he was just about to bring you to your third orgasm–but! oh, this so wasn’t fair! if only he’d gone first! then you wouldn’t have been so worn out!

shit. with a sigh, he pulls away from your body as his eye begins twitching and he looks over to shouto—who currently had his hand wrapped around his cock—and lets out a huff.

“there’s no way i’m letting him fuck you,” he grunts out, crossing his muscular arms.

“kats, that’s not— ‘s’not fair,” you chide him, panting heavily and sitting up on your forearms. “you said— said the winner—” your cheeks flush as you remember the words he’d used and you shake your head to clear the thought from your mind. “...could fuck me—you wouldn’t wanna go back on your word, would you?”

shouto’s heart rate increases as you stick up for him, and he feels the extra blood circulating throughout his body go straight to his throbbing dick as his eyes light up with hope—never in a million years would he think he’d get the chance to have sex with you!

“mm, …fine,” katsuki agrees, salty he’d lost at his own competition, but willing to do whatever to make you happy, so… he almost retches a little at the thought and he feels his heart break in his chest ever so slightly, but… if staying true to his word and letting that half n’ half bastard fuck you would make you happy, then…. he guesses he can let it slide…

with that, shouto’s shifting onto his knees a little more in order to slide his boxers down his well-toned thighs so his pretty cock can slap against his lower tummy and he’s quick to grab you by the hips, pulling you towards him before katsuki’s words cause him to pause.

“not so fast, icyhot, if you’re gonna fuck ‘em, then they can at least suck me off while you do,” he growls, moving so that he’s behind you and then manhandling out of shouto’s grasp so that you were facing him. “get on all fours, sweetheart,” he instructs you, and you obey with a nod, presenting shouto with your ass and drooling cunt and he swallows thickly at the sight.

his hands plant themselves on your hips once more and a small smile tugs at the corners of your lips—you were glad shouto would at least get a chance to enjoy himself, as you’re sure he probably doesn’t have many good stress relievers, if any at all…

with that in mind, you make sure to arch your back nicely for the man on his knees behind you as you take your husband’s dick in one hand while supporting your weight with the other and press a little kiss to the bright red tip before slowly taking it into your hot mouth.

katsuki hisses out a groan at the feeling of you hollowing your cheeks as you gradually take him down to almost the base, your hand wrapped around what doesn’t currently fit in your mouth, and swallow thickly around him.

“shit—” a hand is quick to bury itself in your hair to guide your pace as shouto’s jaw slackens in the slightest before he gets a grip and starts to align his swollen and leaky tip with your creamy pussy, moaning much louder than he was expecting to at the feeling of your warm, gummy walls wrapped around his virgin cock. suddenly, whatever metaphorical grip he did have immediately slips away from him as his physical grip tightens to an almost painful extent, and you’re sure he’ll leave bruises in the shapes of his fingertips—similar to the way your husband so often does.

“aa–aah! fuck!” todoroki whines as he takes his time bottoming out—biting his tongue as he pushes into you almost agonizingly slow, causing you to moan around your husband’s dick, resulting in him pushing your head down further against him and your pussy to flutter around the poor, overwhelmed shouto.

you nearly gag as his mushroom-headed tip hits the back of your throat, but are able to suppress your reflex to do so well enough to remove your hand from around him while you focus on breathing through your nose as you take him down to the base, until your face is flush against his pelvis, light blond pubes tickling your nostrils slightly.

you try to stay that way for as long as possible, swallowing around him continuously to fight your own gag reflex rather than out of consideration of his pleasure, but it’s only been a few seconds when you’re fighting against his strong palm to come up for air.

after pulling off him with a disgustingly wet pop! and panting heavily, you make the suggestion that the two should kiss again — arguing that if your husband is just gonna offer your pussy to be fucked without asking you, then the least he could do was makeout with the man balls deep inside you.

“what?” katsuki barks out, looking down at you, with your head between his thighs.

“please, ‘tsuki?” you ask nicely, giving him your best puppy dog eyes.

shouto wants to join in with your pleading—to ask katsuki for a kiss, too, but he knows better, knows your husband will begrudgingly cave to your demands and that he’ll ultimately receive another kiss.

“tsk… fine—c’mere, icyhot,” he grunts, one hand pushing your head back down onto his dick as the other reaches for shouto. both men lean over you in order to lock lips, and the younger one can’t help the smile that tugs at the corners of his lips as he gets what he wants.

todoroki’s hips press flush against your ass as he leans over your sweaty, overstimulated body to makeout with your husband. god, you weren’t, like, …a fujoshi or anything, but…. something about the idea of katsuki and shouto going at it in particular had your stomach in knots and cunt clamping down snugly around shouto’s girth.

“jesus—” the half and half man pants at the feeling of your pussy, and he honestly doesn’t know how he’s managed to go this long without it. ….or if he’ll be able to live without yours specifically from here on out…… okay, it’s decided. he’d ask to join your relationship, somehow, when this was all said and done, but for now he isn’t sure whether to focus on his kiss with katsuki or the feeling of his dick throbbing almost painfully inside you.

ultimately, his attention is drawn to the way bakugou nips harshly at his lower lip—enough to draw a small amount of blood—and a moan gets caught in shouto’s throat, coming out as something more akin to a whimper instead; something that certainly makes katsuki’s ears perk up. had todoroki just fuckin’ whimpered from something he had done? for a reason other than getting pussy for the first time in his stupid virgin life? needless to say, it quickly goes to bakugou’s ego as he begins sucking on shouto’s lower lip, tongue swiping over it quickly at first, and then a second time that was considerably slower and more teasing in nature.

poor shouto can feel himself going cross-eyed as he ruts into you sloppily, heavy balls smacking against your clit, and he knows he won’t last long like this at all. he’s kinda bummed he can’t …make love to you the way he would prefer, but right now, he doesn’t find himself picky at all—just grateful to be a part of this entire thing, even if he may not get the chance again in the future. that’s why it was critical for him to be present in the moment, literally drooling from how good he feels, as he uses his quirk on his tongue while swirling it around katsuki’s, the now freezing muscle licking over the insides of his cheeks and grooves of his teeth, sending a chill down your husband’s spine.

the saliva being exchanged between the two begins to dribble out from the corners of their mouths and drip down their chins and onto your arched back. holy shit. you nearly choke on katsuki’s dick at the feeling of their spit rolling down your spine and you moan in both disgust and twisted pleasure.

“nnmgh,” you moan, tongue pressed flat against the underside of his dick as shouto drills into you. now it’s you who finds themselves drooling profusely, your spit running down katsuki’s cock, soaking his balls.

the blond can feel himself throbbing down your throat and he groans from the combined stimulation of you blowing him and shouto’s icy tongue—he’s close and he knows it. …meaning that half and half whore was definitely about to cum, with the way your pussy is surely milking him for all he’s worth.

“shouto,” he grunts out, pulling away just enough to tell him that if he’s gonna cum, then he has to pull out—that katsuki was the only one allowed to cum inside you.

todoroki was more taken aback by the usage of his first name from bakugou of all people, and it’s all he can do to nod and mumble a quiet yeah.

it’s not much longer before both mean reach their climax around the same time—with shouto pulling out to jerk himself off for a few more seconds and he’s cumming all over your back with a loud cry as your husband cums in your mouth, thick cum spilling down your throat, past your tongue, not even giving you a chance to taste him.

after both men catch their breath, katsuki slowly pulls you off of him as he gazes down at you with a particularly soft look in his eye—or maybe it’s satisfaction, you’re too fucked out to really tell.

“y’okay, princess?” your husband rasps out, grinning to himself at your teary eyes, one hand cupping your cheek, and you blindly lean into his warm touch.

“mmhm,” is all you can hum in response, borderline brain dead from how many times you’d cum tonight—clit still throbbing from the earlier stimulation.

“good….” he directs his attention to shouto, but doesn’t ask him anything, instead looking him up and down, eyes lingering on his dick for a moment longer than he’d like to admit. he quickly redirects his gaze to shouto’s heterochromatic one, and the softest, barely there smile tugs at the corners of his lips. it was so small and brief, one might think they were hallucinating had they seen it, but todoroki catches sight of it, and he wants to say something, but finds himself speechless; so instead, he leans in to kiss your husband again, and, very much to his surprise, he doesn’t immediately recoil. given, he doesn’t lean in to meet him either, but he does kiss him back as you shift to the side, panting heavily while you watch the two muscular and domineering men go at it for the nth time tonight, and you can hardly believe your eyes.

one hand slips down in between your legs as they kiss, rubbing gently at your sensitive bundle of nerves while shouto takes the initiative this time, running his now heated tongue over the seam of katsuki’s lips before licking into his mouth, but moans quietly when the usually angry, but now somewhat calm, blond begins sucking on the hot muscle, one hand coming up to almost cradle the back of shouto’s head as he buries in fingers in his two-toned hair, pulling at it roughly.

“y’know icyhot, you’re really not that bad at this,” he tells him, which is the closest to doling out praise he’ll ever get.

shouto, however, takes this to heart as a soft smile pulls at his lips and suddenly he finds himself cupping katsuki’s face and knocking him onto the bed, clumsily clamoring on top of him, and your jaw genuinely drops at the scene in front of you. holy shit.

“yeah?” shouto breathes from on top of katsuki, who was just as shocked as you were, if not moreso. what the fuck? how the fuck? what was he meant to do? he looks over to you for an idea of where to go with this, and his eyes widen when he sees you touching yourself to the sight of them. …alright, he supposes he can get behind this.

looking back over to shouto, he replies: “sure, ..but i’m better,” and easily manages to flip the pair so that he was on top instead.

“nngh–” you moan as softly, your free hand coming to grope one of your tits, pinching and tweaking with your already erect nipples. you don’t know if you can handle another orgasm, but the sight of the pair in front of each other is simply too hot to not jerk to.

shouto, meanwhile, wraps his arms around katsuki’s neck as he pulls him in for a disgustingly sloppy and heated kiss, lips parting by themselves as he cranes his neck upwards. similarly, he moans as well, tongue already seeking out katsuki’s while you fondle yourself and slowly work yourself up to one final orgasm.

nipping at his lower lip the same way he’d done to shouto earlier, katsuki retaliates by pulling away from the kiss to bite at his neck — even going as far as to suck against a few particular spots, leaving hickeys to bloom in the place of his mouth. for a moment, the idea of jerking shouto off crosses his mind, but that would be going too far for bakugou.

you, however, encourage this behavior, telling them to put on a show for you as you try not to cringe at the feeling of shouto’s cum drying on your bare back.

so, it’s shouto who finds himself reaching for katsuki’s dick without a second thought, and he heats up his hand a bit to tease the poor blond (there is nothing poor about that man…), causing him to hiss in a mix of surprise and pleasure.

“shit—you’d think you would ask someone before just grabbing their dick,” he grunts out, making shouto chuckle a bit at his words.

“sorry,” he says simply, thumb running over the leaky slit of his mushroom-headed tip, and he really, really wishes he could suck him off…… christ. maybe… maybe he should ask? you were the one who told them to put on a show after all..!

shouto ultimately decides against it, though, too embarrassed to do so, and instead settles for jerking katsuki off slowly and with intent.

“nngh–” bakugou nearly whimpers—not that he’d ever actually do something like that, obviously—and he pulls at shouto’s hair, dick still sensitive from the way you’d sucked him off so good a few moments prior.

it doesn’t take too long before katsuki finds himself cumming sooner than he’d like to admit, biting down on shouto’s neck in order to cope with the stimulation from his former classmate and fellow pro-hero.

you, too, find yourself cumming rather quickly, back arching off the mattress as shouto slows his pace to a halt, pulling his hand away and licking katsuki’s cum off it while making full eye contact with him—something that, shamefully, turned both you and the blond on.

you two would have to have a very serious discussion after this about how to move on from here, but for now, the two men turn their focus back to you, finally worn out for the night. katsuki easily shifts to lay next to you, wrapping his strong arms around your waist as shouto moves to get off the bed and go back to his guest room where he’d lay awake for the rest of the night—until he hears you call out for him softly, inviting him to sleep in your bed for the night; something katsuki doesn’t protest against, too tired to do so—and even if he did, his heart wouldn’t be in it. unfortunately, he very much enjoyed his time with the two of you tonight, and might seriously have to entertain your future request of letting shouto join your relationship.

in the meantime, however, shouto abides and comes to lay on the other side of you, flushed and sweaty body pressing against your back as your chest smushes against katsuki’s significantly warmer one, and you’re quickly lulled to sleep by the sound of his heartbeat and shouto’s steady breathing.

return to KINKTOBER | K. BAKUGOU M.LIST | S. TODOROKI M.LIST

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distantdarlings · 1 year ago

Text

TRY THAT AGAIN // t. nott

RATING: R / 3.7K WORDS

Theodore Nott x Fem Reader Insert

+ SUMMARY - *Requested, based on this* Pansy finds out that a group of Gryffindor girls has had a lot to say about you and your relationship with Theodore Nott. They think you won’t do anything about it, but you prove them wrong.

+ WARNINGS - Fighting, depictions of a fight, punching someone in the face, bloody nose, wound descriptions - very brief, language, gossiping, fem reader, not proofread (lmk if I missed any)

+ MUSIC (listened to while writing) -

IDGAF - Yeat

(Sorry I used Lavender as the 'mean girl,' she's just who I chose! I'm sorry if you like her :'))

---

The Great Hall echoed with hundreds of voices, each one rattling the glasses on the table. You caught yourself zoning out, staring in the general direction of the Gryffindor table. You blinked and shook your head slightly, knocking yourself out of your miniature daze.

As you came back to yourself, you noticed a group of Gryffindor girls with judgemental expressions printed on their faces. You realized they seemed to be looking right at you. You glanced around, trying to see if there was anyone else around you who might be warranting such a reaction from them. There was no one.

You waved gently—your eyebrows furrowed confusedly together. Once you did so, one of the girls sitting the closest to you rolled her eyes and turned back to her group of friends. Her long dark hair caught the reflection of the sun and flashed as she turned. You were taken aback at her behavior. There was always the possibility that she and her friends hadn’t been looking at you, but it seemed unlikely.

A sigh left you as you turned back to your group of friends

“Did any of you guys see that?” you asked. Pansy, Enzo, Mattheo, and your boyfriend, Theo, stopped their chatter and looked over at you.

“See what, baby?” Theo asked.

“Those girls over there at Gryffindor—they just glared at me like crazy,” you said.

“Those girls at the edge of the table?” Pansy asked, pointing.

“Yes, do you know them?”

“Not really, but they’re just plain drama,” she explained. “Getting involved with them practically ensures you’ll be dragged into something by the end of the week.”

“Why do you think they were looking at me?” you asked.

“I have no idea,” Theo interjected. “But if they’re “drama,” they’re likely going to try and involve anyone, no matter if they’re as sweet as you.” He flashed you a charming smile. You rolled your eyes in response, giggling a bit with Pansy.

“Do you have any plans for after dinner?” Enzo piped up, leaning into the table a bit.

“Not really,” you said. “I think Pansy and I are gonna have a bit of a girl’s night, though!”

She smiled widely and agreed. The two of you tried to get together and chat and paint each other’s nails every once in a while—just to keep each other up to date. She was your best friend after all—well, one of them.

“Yeah, and none of you are invited. It’s girl’s time only.”

The three boys sitting in front of the two of you rolled their eyes simultaneously. You both laughed in response.

When your group of friends had completed your meals, you all agreed to head your separate ways with you and Pansy headed back to your dormitory and the boys headed to Hogsmeade for a Butterbeer.

The two of you made your way out of the Great Hall and began to head down to the Slytherin common room.

Pansy pushed her short hair behind her ears as she turned to you. “Actually, I think I did see those girls staring at you earlier.”

“You did?” you asked. She nodded and began to fidget with the straps of her backpack.

“Yeah, when they came in. I’ve kind of been keeping an eye on them.”

“What do you mean?”

“I, erm…” she trails off, turning her head towards the floor.

“What? What is it?” you asked, coming to a stop in the middle of the empty hallway. She paused as well, staring at you with a bit of concern in her eyes, almost like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. “Pansy Parkinson, you tell me what—”

“Alright!” she exclaimed. She blew air through her lips, sending a few strands of her bangs flying into the air. “So, the one girl in Gryffindor…that’s Lavender Brown…”

“Okay…” you asked, pressing her on.

“Lavender Brown has an enormous crush on Theo,” she said, pressing her lips together awkwardly.

“Theo who? My Theo?” you asked. She paused for a moment and then gave a brief nod. You considered laughing. Why on earth would you be threatened by some random Gryffindor girl who had a crush on your boyfriend? Number one, of course, they did. He was Theodore freaking Nott. Number two, he was your boyfriend. He was taken, and he was loyal. You weren’t concerned with the possibility of Theo cheating on you at all. He was a spooky Slytherin boy from an old money family. And if there was one thing that spooky Slytherin boys from old money families valued more than being the best, it was loyalty. Theo would not cheat.

“Ha, I get her,” you snorted. “I have a crush on him, too.” Pansy stared at you blankly. She said nothing for a moment, then smiled nervously. You could tell something was very off.

“Look, all I’m saying is Lavender Brown has a bit of a track record around Hogwarts,” she shrugged. Your eyebrow quirked. “A track record of…home-wrecking, if you will.”

“Please, I’m not going to let some desperate Gryffindor bitch take my man from me,” you said, rolling your eyes. “How pathetic.”

The two of you began walking again, headed down to the dungeons.

If Lavender Brown thought she could give you the slip, she had another thing coming. You didn’t care what people thought of you or how they viewed you as “Theo’s girlfriend.” But one thing was for certain, you weren’t about to get fucking played.

The two of you rounded the corner and jogged down the steps. The Slytherin common room entrance stood before you, awaiting the password. Pansy and you tittered on about the little quirks of Lavender and her friends. However mean that was, you didn’t care. If she could glare at you and act like you knew her at all for absolutely no reason, you could talk shit about her with your best friend. It was girl code. Basically.

Pansy spoke the password, and the two of you walked through the entrance, arms looped in each other’s. If there were one person in the whole world you’d share your entire life story (secrets included) with, it’d be Pansy. She knew you better than anyone—except maybe Theo.

Pansy slid her robe off of her shoulders and set it on the back of the lush green sofa set before the fireplace. It was already lit and crackling comfortably as you took your seat next to her. You loosened your tie and set your feet up on the small table before you.

“So, out of curiosity, when you say ‘homewrecker,’ what exactly do you mean?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“Well, do you remember Alaina and Joseph from fourth year?”

“Yeah, they were together forever.”

“Exactly,” Pansy said. “Until Lavender got involved.”

“What do you mean?”

“What I heard was Lavender developed a crush on Joseph and started flirting with him,” she started. “Well, on the realization that he couldn’t be worked away from Alaina, Lavender decided to take matters into her own hands. She started spreading a rumor about Alaina.”

“You don’t mean the Alaina cheating thing was spread by Lavender?” you gasped, pressing a hand over your mouth.

“Yes, I do mean that. Because she’s the one that started it.”

“I always had a bad feeling about that,” you sighed. “Alaina definitely didn’t seem like the type to cheat.”

“Yeah, but Joseph still broke up with her. He definitely believed the rumors. But when Lavender went to pursue him, he wasn’t interested in a relationship.”

When Pansy was done with her story, she sighed and glanced over at you. Your lips were slightly parted in shock as everything came to a climax. You couldn’t believe that someone would actually do that to a person over some dumb crush. When it was obvious that Joseph didn’t reciprocate Lavender’s feelings, why didn’t she just back down? But most importantly, would she try to do that to you and Theo?

“Ah shit, do you think she’s going to try and do that to me?” you ask, nervously nibbling on your bottom lip. Pansy shrugged. That was all the answers you needed.

“Fucking bitch!” you shouted, abruptly getting to your feet. “I can’t believe she would try that with me. How fucking embarrassing. Nobody’s interested in you, so you waltz around, screwing up other people’s relationships for a few minutes’ attention from a boy. Ew. She’s disgusting.”

“Yeah, I know,” Pansy agreed. “And nobody ever does anything. Alaina got kicked out of her own relationship. I don’t want to see that happen to my best friend.”

“Aw, Pans,” you sighed, smiling a bit. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she said, returning your smile. She opened her arms wide, and you fell comfortably into them, wrapping yours tightly around her waist.

“I still can’t believe her,” you said. “That’s like a bad movie plot. She’s actually pathetic.”

“I know!”

The two of you continued to chat until the sun outside had set far below the horizon. Students had walked past the two of you, back and forth, for the majority of the evening. But when the traffic had finally stopped, the two of you realized that it was probably getting really late.

With a few stretches and yawns, the two of you followed the other up the stairs to the girls’ dormitories and slipped into your beds. After the evening you’d had so far and the shit you’d talked, you were exhausted and ready for bed.

You collapsed against your pillow and crossed your hands over your stomach. The green canopy over your head shimmered beneath the moonlight.

Despite how tired you were, you kept going back to what Pansy had said. That Lavender had lied and spread rumors about Alaina, that she’d ruined her relationship and might try to do it to yours. The thought of Theo thinking you had cheated on him and hooking up with Lavender later made you sick. You had to roll over to avoid the thought. Surely, he’d know better, right? You weren’t sure. How would you react if someone had told you that Theo had cheated on you? You groaned and pressed one of your pillows over your face.

Everything within you was saying to quiet the nerves in your head as quickly as you could and to fall asleep. These sorts of thoughts were doing nothing but making you panic. Imagining Theo with another girl made you panic. You couldn’t stand the thought of it. Especially if it was Lavender Brown—certified homewrecker. You didn’t think you’d make it.

As the thoughts of anxiety and jealousy swirled through your head, you found yourself drifting further and further off. The light of the moon was becoming dimmer by the second as you lay there. It wouldn’t be much longer until you were out like a light. You figured it was going to be a rather peaceful sleep despite your current worries.

Your eyes shut, and you were asleep.

x x x

The next morning, your eyes opened just before your alarm. Besides the fact that that never happened, you had a strange feeling in your gut, like something was different today. You didn’t know what exactly, but it made you nervous. You made a mental note to ask Theo if everything was okay as soon as you got downstairs for breakfast.

You tossed a robe around your pajamas, not bothering to switch into your school uniform yet. There was still around an hour before classes started, and you figured you’d have plenty of time to change. In fact, you thought, you might just run down and grab a quick nibble of something to eat. You’d talk to Theo as soon as you could.

The stone floors were cold as you slid your feet into a pair of woolen socks, then a pair of personal boots. As small as your dorm room was, you’d imagine that the firepit in the center of the room would do more for the temperature. But, you always found yourself freezing in the mornings as you were preparing for first period. Maybe it was just you—

“Good morning, friend,” Pansy said lowly, her voice still raspy from sleep. She jogged over to you from her bed on the opposite side of the room.

“Good morning,” you returned. “Wanna grab some breakfast?”

“Sounds good to me,” she yawned, looping her arm through yours. You found that she was always the one who initiated that small show of affection, but it felt good. The fact that you had a female friend who genuinely cared for you made your heart light up. With all of the worry over those girls last night, it made you realize how truly grateful you were a friend not involved in drama. At the thought, you flashed her a smile, to which she returned with a goofy expression.

The two of you giggled a bit as you turned the corner and climbed the main staircase, headed directly for the Great Hall. You could practically smell all of the food from here. On second thought, maybe you would stay for a full meal. If there was one thing you truly loved about Hogwarts—besides the obvious—it was the food.

As the two of you made the final walk down the grand hall, you noticed something. Perhaps it was all in your head or had something to do with the odd feeling you had when you woke up, but you felt like everyone was staring at you. It felt like every face you glanced at already had eyes directed at you. You broke the contact awkwardly each time, trying to ignore the strange attention. Whatever was going on, you really were not a fan.

“Pansy, is everyone staring at us?” you whispered, nudging her side with your elbow. She glanced around.

“It kind of seems like it, doesn’t it?” she said. “Hold on.”

She pulled away from you suddenly, leaving you to stop in the middle of the hallway. She approached a small group of girls gathered in the corner just before the Great Hall. You watched from where you were standing, trying to overhear what she was saying. She tapped one of the girls’ shoulders and began conversing with them.

You thought you recognized a few of them—some Slytherin girls from your Potions class.

After a few moments of you loitering awkwardly in the middle of the hallway, Pansy finally jogged back over. Her face was flushed, and her eyebrows were drawn tightly together. She looked as if she was deep in thought.

“Pans, what is it?” you asked, grabbing her arm.

“That bitch from yesterday…” she trailed off. Lavender Brown?

“What about her?” you asked.

“It seems like she has a bit of an issue keeping her mouth shut.” She pointed toward the wide-open doors to the Great Hall. You glanced over at the huge room. Your stomach sank a bit at the feeling of being involved in drama. Sure, you and Pansy chatted about drama around the school all the time, but you didn’t want to be involved in it. Was that bad? You didn’t know. A sigh left you.

You clenched your fists, feeling pops ripple through the knuckles. You were going to handle whatever was going on right now. There were thousands of things way more important than some stupid girl trying to disrupt your life. And, the worst of it was, she hardly knew you. What was her fucking problem? The thoughts ramped up your anger, but you pushed it down. You were just going to talk to her.

You walked through the doors of the Great Hall and quickly surveyed the room. Still, it felt as though everyone was staring at you. You tried to ignore it as you spotted Lavender and her group of friends. They stood around the Gryffindor table, with her sitting on the edge of it with one leg crossed over the other. She appeared to be telling them each something, but how she sat up straight and glanced around so often gave you a bad feeling. You swallowed thickly and calmly walked over to her.

As you came within a few feet of her, her friends began to notice and alerted her to your presence. Her eyes found yours, and she immediately shut up.

“Hey, Lavender,” you said politely, forcing a smile. Each of her friends gave you a different type of glare.

“Hey,” she said bluntly. Her expression was very hesitant.

“Can I talk to you?” you asked. She said nothing. “Alone?”

“Anything you need to say to me, you can say around my girls,” she said, a bit of an attitude shining through. She pursed her lips.

“Okay, well, what I have to say is for you, not your ‘girls,’” you mocked. Her eyebrow quirked. With every word that left your mouth, her friends reacted in some way. It seemed they were only egging her on.

“I think I’ll stay right here,” she said. You refrained from rolling your eyes.

“Alright, well, have it your way. I’ve just heard a bit of a rumor flying around. A few people have told me that you’re saying some…rude things about me, and I wanted to ask why. I mean, I don’t even know you.” You chuckled slightly. A few of her friends rolled their eyes.

“I’m not concerned about that,” she said. “I’m concerned about something else.”

“Then why are you saying things about me?” you asked. She sighed and got to her feet, closing the distance between the two of you a bit. You took a small step back. The last thing you wanted was for her to be right in your face. Her friends gathered behind her a bit.

“Um, because I can do what I want,” she said, crossing her arms. “Free country, right?”

“Sure…but I really would like you to stop,” you explained. “It’s upsetting me and my friends.”

“I don’t really give a fuck,” she said. Her friends laughed a bit at your shocked expression. You were struggling to wrap your head around why she would have a reason to talk about you if you’d never even had a conversation with the girl.

“Last time I’m going to ask, or I’m going to the Headmaster’s, Lavender,” you threatened.

“Do what you want—I’m not fucking scared of you,” she challenged, crossing her arms. “It’s not like you’re actually going to do anything.” Your fists clenched.

“Lavender, I’m asking you nicely. Stop talking about me, or I’ll make it a problem.”

“Ooh,” she teased, her friends tittering along. “What are you going to do? Are you going to run to the Headmaster’s just like you always do? ‘Oh, Professor Dumbledore, please help! There are students who are being mean to me—”

“Shut up, Lavender,” Pansy said, appearing behind you. “You’re fucking pathetic.”

A shock of pride flew through your chest at the bit of backup Pansy provided. You were feeling a bit outnumbered with Lavender’s posse.

“Was I talking to you, bitch?”

“Hey! Don’t fucking call her that!” you said, your voice raising a bit.

“Aw, I don’t think I’ve ever even heard you say a bad word,” Lavender mocked you. “You know, considering you are such an insufferable loser. Theo must be so fucking embarrassed of you.”

“What the hell did you just say?”

“I said, your boyfriend—” she took another step closer to you; you were practically chest to chest—“is embarrassed of you, little girl. Maybe he should try a woman on for size.” She laid a rough poke to your chest. Your arms rippled at the feeling.

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

“What, like this?” she poked you again, her false nails digging into your flesh. Before she could drop her hand away from you again, you’d turned and swung a violent punch at her.

Her friends screamed loudly as she crumpled to the ground, her hands pressed to her face. She shrieked at the top of her lungs, quieting everyone in the Great Hall. Per usual student behavior, groups of the Hall’s occupants raced over to try and get a glimpse at you beating the shit out of Lavender Brown.

Her friends fell away from her quickly as you dropped down on top of her, thighs straddling her chest, and wailed on her. So much for them standing by her. Punch after punch landed on her dumb fucking face. You were at the point now where the pain in your fists was hardly detectable anymore.

Jeers of encouragement erupted around you as fellow students circled the two of you—Pansy had been pushed back in the midst of the commotion. As you glanced around for your friend, the girl below you managed to shove her fist upward and land a lucky strike right to your nose. Your head snapped back at the motion, your hands coming up to cover the blood that spurted from each nostril.

You tasted metal and sweat as you leaned back down and continued your assault on her face.

“Not so confident now, huh, bitch?” you shouted in her face, laying a swift slap across her cheek.

Suddenly, you felt rough hands beneath your armpits as you were yanked backward. Despite the resistance, you fought against the unknown person, trying to get back at Lavender.

“Yeah, you fucking cunt, you wanna fuck with me?” you yelled, thrashing against the person behind you. “Wanna try it again? How about any of your fucking friends?”

“Hey, stop, stop!” Theo grabbed your wailing fists, forcing you to look directly into his eyes. He yanked you away from the crowd just as a few professors began to arrive. Enzo and Mattheo were hung back along the Ravenclaw table, waiting for their friend. Amused expressions were pulled across their faces.

“Merlin!” Enzo shouted, a smile printed on his lips. “That was bloody brilliant.” You refrained from laughing.

“Fuck, baby, I must be rubbing off on you,” Theo chucked. “You’re fighting just like your boyfriend.” A swell of pride flowed through you. He selected one of the fabric napkins from the table behind him and began pressing it beneath your nose.

“Whatever,” you said, hiding a smile. “I’m just tired of people walking all over me because they think I won’t do anything about it. And I didn’t touch that bitch until she mentioned you and touched me.”

“You don’t have to defend yourself to me,” Theo laughed. “But I don’t think you have to worry about anyone messing with you anymore.”

The three boys before you smirked darkly at his words.

*Tag List: @mypolicemanharryyy, @angelfrombeneth, @clairesjointshurt, @bunbunbl0gs, @acornacreacure, @niktwazny303, @thestarlithideout, @sarahskakskskskajakwwnwjw, @yhiiil, @ravenclawprincess33, @xxrougefangxx (if you would like to be added to the tag list for any future works, please comment on this post, dm me, or send me a message in my inbox. Thanks!)*

#fanfiction #creative writing #fanfic #writing #reader insert #harry potter #oneshot #harry potter fanfiction #slytherin #harry potter smut #theodore nott x reader #theo nott #theodore nott smut #pansy parkinson #fem reader #request #lorenzo berkshire #enzo berkshire #mattheo riddle

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heavyhitterheaux · 22 days ago

Text

IDGAF (NSFW)

See Me Through You Series

I don't care right now (I don't give a fuck)

Pull your hair right now (come here)

Tryna beat it right now (she like)

But you know I got a man

Synopsis: Joe has no more fucks to give and is tired of him not having the title of being your boyfriend

Warnings: mentions of dv

Do not engage if you are underage

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

After Joe had told you that he knew that you loved him instead of Trevor, you stood there speechless.

One thing you weren't about to do was tell him that he was wrong.

His eyes never left yours as he waited for you to say something. When you didn't, he knew that it had to be up to him to at least try to pull a response out of you.

“Look, Y/N, if you go back to him, fine. I can't stop you, but I do need to tell you one thing.” He told you as he grabbed your left hand to hold it while the other one was holding onto the bouquet of flowers that he had gifted you.

“What's that?” You asked him not knowing that you had absentmindedly squeezed his hand tighter.

“You’re making a mistake and hopefully you realize that before you get hurt again because I know that at this point, it's bound to happen.” Joe said as he was not holding back how he felt about the entire situation.

Now the question was why did Trevor have such a strong hold on you?

“Joey, I promise that you don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine.” You said while trying to reassure him, but knew for a fact that more than likely it was not working in your favor.

“And who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself? Do you also not realize how much your brother worries about you too? From what I've seen and heard about him, he is not a good person. Especially not to you. Did you forget him leaving actual marks on your wrist while we were at that party and you were trying to get away from him? What do you think would have happened if I wasn’t there to get you away from him?”

“I wish that people would just stop acting like they know what's best for me.” You breathed out, frustrated about being hit from all different angles.

Joe, Ja'Marr, Erin, and Alisha.

Even your parents thought that you had broken up with him a while ago because that's what Ja'Marr told them when he knew that Joe had eyes for you.

“Bam Bam! Why did dad just say he was relieved that I finally broke up with Trevor!? And that you had told them?! Didn’t realize my life was a soap opera to you!”

“I just uh predicted the future. Now you're not going to make me look like a liar to mom and dad, right?”

“I should beat your ass right now.”

“I mean…. You have someone who likes you that I know will treat you right. He's literally just waiting for Trevor to get out of his rightful spot.”

“JA'MARR! Who are you talking about!?”

“Pebbles, don't be dumb. I'm talking about Joe, obviously. I see the type of person he is and that's someone I want for my sister.”

The relief that was evident on their faces let you know that he was not ever going to have approval from anyone that was a part of your life.

As soon as those words left your mouth, Joe wasted no time responding to you.

“Oh so you think this is what a healthy relationship between two people looks like? And someone obviously needs to because you definitely can't do it yourself.”

“Just like you said before, if I go back to him, it really isn't any of your business or anyone else's for that matter. Let's keep it that way because I am done with this conversation.”

“If that's what you want then okay. I won't say anything else about it. And to add to that I'll keep my distance because you're right. You shouldn't be spending more time with another man that isn't your boyfriend and I guess he probably feels like I stepped on his toes enough. But he won't have to worry about that anymore.” He told you as he sighed and held up his hands in defense, losing the warmth that he had been getting from holding your hand.

“Wait…” You started to say, but Joe shook his head at you.

“No, this is what you wanted so this is how it's going to be from now on.”

“Joey, I didn't mean…”

“Didn't mean what? You love me but your ass is crawling back to him as he begs for forgiveness as usual after doing the bare minimum? Actually, he doesn't even do that. I'm not about to compete with anyone who I feel isn't even on my level to compete with me in the first place. I'll see you at the game if you're coming later. Probably not the best idea to wear my jersey since we can't have Trevor seeing it.”

Now it was apparent that Joe was more than pissed off with you.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. I need to head back to my apartment to start to get ready anyway. But for the record….” He trailed off and you tried to grab his hand, but he immediately moved away.

“For the record what?”

“I love you too. So do what you will with that information.”

That's the last thing Joe told you before he turned away from you before he walked back to meet up with Justin and Ja'Marr.

Later that day in the afternoon, you were sitting next to Alisha and Erin in the student section of the stadium waiting for the game to start. After the conversation between the two of you earlier in the day, you honestly didn’t feel like going, but decided to anyway.

Even though Joe was mad at you, you had already promised him last week that you would wear his jersey to the game and didn't care who saw it at this point.

You were going to support your friend.

Your friend that you were in love with and he was in love with you however that was a whole nother discussion.

“You look good in your future husband's jersey.” Erin teased while Alisha laughed before taking a bite of her hot dog.

“He’s a little mad at me right now so hopefully seeing me in it will make it a little bit better.” You said as you turned to look at her.

“Well he can't be but so mad at you since he is literally making his way over here.” Alisha told you as you turned around to see that she was indeed correct.

The three of you were on the first row in the middle so that you would have the best view. In order to get these seats, all three of you made sure to get to the stadium early. When Joe finally reached you, he had an expression on his face that you couldn't quite read and you were the first one to speak.

“Surprised to see me?” You asked and he nodded.

“A little bit, but I know you. A promise is a promise and you said that you would be here. You aren't one to back out of something so easily.”

“Hmm, true. Are you still mad at me?” You quietly asked and Joe simply shrugged.

“Seeing you in my jersey is making me less mad if that helps. If you were my girlfriend, after tonight when I won I would be able to take it off of you. But I know my opportunity is coming.”

“I…” You started to say as you felt your cheeks heating up.

“Oh, that’s right. We established boundaries today and I promised that I would back off. It's kind of hard, but I just have to deal with it.”

“Joey….”

“Bold move though wearing it considering anybody could see it, including him. We both know that he already doesn’t like me. Think he'd be mad if I kissed you right now? In front of all these people? Letting the entire world know that you belong to me and only me even if you aren't ready to admit it yet.” Joe whispered as he leaned closer to you. Joe had spotted Trevor in the stands a few rows up and sent a small smile his way which led to Trevor glaring at him. You still had yet to notice that he was there which Joe was going to take advantage of.

When you were quiet, Joe laughed as he broke the silence.

“Let’s find out.”

He lightly grabbed your face and moved you closer to him so he could place a kiss on your cheek that was dangerously close to your mouth.

If you would have moved less than one centimeter, he would have planted that kiss on your lips.

“We'll talk later.” He told you while pinching your cheek and you simply nodded. This was the second time today that he had left you speechless.

“Have a good game, Joey.”

“It already is a good game, because you're here.” He replied as he winked at you.

He made his way back over to the sideline while Erin and Alisha were grinning from ear to ear as you turned around to look at both of them.

“I seriously wish yall would just fuck already. It would literally solve so many problems. He would take you on the fifty yard line if he could.”

“ERIN!”

“I’m just saying. I am literally waiting for the wedding invite. I wonder if you two will get married here or have a destination wedding? I can start looking up places.”

“What am I going to do with you?” You asked her, but also couldn’t help but to laugh at the same time.

What you didn't see was Trevor fuming behind you. He had seen the entire interaction and planned to confront you about it later. He knew that you and Joe were obviously close and were friends, but that interaction that he just saw was too intimate for his liking.

He hadn't cared for Joe ever since the party where he had stepped in between the both of you. In the back of his mind, he knew Joe liked you, it was obvious. But one thing that he had to do was set him straight and let him know that you were his and planned on reminding you about it later.

Little did he know, it was too little too late.

You were too far gone at this point, and the only person that held your attention was Joseph Lee Burrow.

Later on that night after he had gotten back to his apartment from LSU winning their game, Joe had grabbed food and was sitting down eating it while his phone vibrated on the table in front of him indicating that it was his mom and he quickly answered.

He simply wanted to be by himself and didn't bother celebrating with any of his teammates because once again, his mind was on you.

It was a continuous cycle, you, football, and focusing on his classes.

It took everything in him not to text you to tell you to come over at this very moment. He was supposed to be mad at you, but being around you was something that kept him grounded. Seeing you wear his jersey tonight made it hard for him to continue to be mad at you.

“Hello?”

“I watched the game and you played amazing as usual. I'm sorry that I couldn't make it to this one, but I will definitely be there next week.”

“It's fine, don't even worry about it and thank you.” He quietly said and she knew for a fact that something was wrong.

“What's going on? You sound upset.” Robin asked him and he sighed before he answered her.

“I like this girl…”

“Oh Y/N? Yes I know. Pretty obvious. You literally talk about her non-stop every week that me and your dad call you. Can't wait to meet her, but go on.”

“Well she knows that I like her, well I actually told her that I loved her earlier today and also told her that I knew she loved me. We've gotten really close ever since I came down here and met her. If I'm not playing football or in class, I am literally spending all of my time with her.”

“Well, what's the problem?”

“She has a boyfriend and I might just have to settle for being her friend because instead of breaking up with him and being with me, she told me that she is giving him another chance even after he's hurt her multiple times.”

“I know that can be hard to watch, but as bad as it sounds, you need to let her make her own mistakes. If that's her decision, you need to respect it.”

“And that's what I told her and also said from now on I’ll be keeping my distance from her.”

“If you feel that's your best option, then stand by your decision.”

“I just…. All I've seen is her getting hurt by him and she steadily defends him each time.”

“I… if you are her friend and you are as close as you claim you two are, just be there for her and help her get through whatever may happen. If the two of you are meant to be together, you'll be together.”

It was 2 in the morning when Joe heard someone knocking on his apartment door and was instantly confused. Hopping up from the couch that he had fallen asleep on with open books scattered around him, he opened the door to see you staring at him in a frantic state.

“Y/N, is everything okay? What's wrong?” He asked as he stepped to the side to be able to let you in and led you to sit down on the couch.

“My brother isn't here, is he?” You asked not bothering to answer his question and looking around since sometimes Ja'Marr would crash at Joe's place if he was too tired to go back to his own.

“No, but do I need to call him?” He asked and you immediately shook your head no.

“No! Please don't. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell, just don’t tell him.” You didn't mean to raise your voice and it came out harsher than you intended.

“Then are you going to tell me what happened? Wait, why is there a cut near your eye? And it's bleeding.” He asked and got up to wet a washcloth and dabbed at your face with it.

It was at that moment that you had looked down and started playing with your matching bracelet that you and Ja'Marr had gotten each other on your eighteenth birthdays and under no circumstances would you make eye contact with him.

That's when the thought hit Joe like a ton of bricks.

“Did that asshole put his hands on you?”

“No.”

“Y/N, if you lie to me I'm calling Ja'Marr.”

“Okay, okay. He tried to. We were arguing and he threw a vase at me that shattered against the wall and some glass from it must have cut me. And then he pushed me into a corner and acted as if he was going to punch me, but punched a hole in the wall instead. Right next to my head. He apologized, but I waited until he fell asleep and then I came here. I was so scared.” You quietly said as tears were starting to run down your cheeks and Joe quickly wiped them away.

It happened again, just like he said it would.

And this time, it ended up being a lot worse.

Joe was sitting there with his jaw clenched and once you looked up at him, you knew that you had to stop him before he did something stupid.

He abruptly got up and was looking for his keys when you instantly ran to stand in front of the door to block him.

“Move, Y/N.”

“Joey, no. You are not going anywhere. Let it go.”

“He fucking hurt you. I should go over there and kick his ass myself.”

“I cannot risk you getting in trouble and therefore getting kicked off the team, he isn't worth it. I'll be fine. Do not mess up your future over me.” You told him as you took his hands in yours.

“But YOU are worth it. Who the fuck in their right mind would do something like that to you? I knew I didn't like him when I met him and your brother was right about him.”

“Joey, promise me. Please don't. I'll deal with it in my own way.”

“There is no way in hell you are going near him ever again. Ja'Marr would be mad as hell at me if he knew that I knew that he hurt you and didn't do anything about it.”

“And that's why you aren't going to tell him.”

“Wait, what? Y/N… you cannot be serious.”

“I… it's the same thing with him too. You can both get arrested for assault and it'll lead to so much more, just please.”

Joe let out a deep sigh before nodding, letting you know that he would honor your wishes.

The two of you were still standing in front of the door and the two of you hadn't taken your eyes off one another when you suddenly reached up and kissed him, catching him off guard, but he immediately kissed you back.

When the two of you broke apart, the reality of what you had just done hit you like a ton of bricks.

You had just cheated on your boyfriend with Joe.

And you didn’t have an ounce of regret in your body.

“I'm sorry, I…” You started to say as you stepped away from him and Joe cut you off as he lightly brought you back towards him.

“I'm not. Break up with him and be with me instead. So I can show you how you're supposed to be treated. I promise you that you won't regret it.”

You didn't respond, but Joe immediately brought your face to his and kissed you once more. Both of your hands were exploring each other's bodies but as soon as you tried to lift Joe's shirt, he abruptly stopped and he kissed the side of your mouth like he had done earlier at the game before saying anything.

“Not yet. You've been through a lot tonight and the last thing I want is for you to feel like I'm taking advantage of you in a vulnerable state and you regret it tomorrow.”

“But I'm…”

“I just want you to rest for the rest of the night. We have plenty of time for that. I'll grab you some clothes to sleep in.”

Nodding your head he kissed you again before taking your hand in his and led you towards his bedroom that you had grown familiar with all throughout the semester. Any time you came over, it would lead to you stealing one of his shirts or one of his hoodies. He was convinced when the semester was over that all he was going to have left at this rate were his boxers. Once there, he let go of your hand and went into his dresser to pull out one of his old Ohio State shirts and handed it to you.

“It'll probably be huge on you, but you'll be comfortable.”

You smiled at him before heading to the bathroom to change out of your clothes. Once you closed the door behind you, you glanced in the mirror and didn't recognize the girl staring back at you.

You promised yourself that if it happened again, you would leave him, but here you were. You had someone right in front of you that wanted to give you the world so what were you so scared of?

You were tired of running around in circles and tired of making excuses.

First thing you were doing later on that day was breaking up with Trevor.

Once you had gotten changed, you walked back out into Joe's bedroom to see he was now in just a pair of sweatpants and looked like he was headed towards the door, but was quickly stopped in his tracks as he heard your soft voice behind him making him turn around.

“Where are you going?” You quietly asked since you were confused.

“To sleep on the couch while you sleep in my bed. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay first.”

“Joey, no. I'm not kicking you out of your bed and besides, I don’t want to be by myself right now.” You confessed as you grabbed his hand.

He nodded as the two of you both got settled, Joe was closest to the door while you were closest to the window. After making sure you were comfortable, he reached over to turn off the lamp that was on the bedside table. That was when he heard your voice once more.

“Joey?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you for always being there for me. Even when I might not deserve it.”

At this point in time, you were honestly surprised that he even answered the door and let you in, but knowing the type of person he is, he wouldn’t have reacted any differently.

“I'll be here as long as you want me to be and you deserve the world. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

—

You didn’t know how long you were laying there, but sleep was the last thing taking over your body. Noticing that Joe's breathing also hadn't slowed, you turned around to face him and at the same time you heard his voice.

“Princess? You still awake? You need to go to sleep.”

“I can't sleep. I'm still so scared, I know he's going to look for me sooner or later.”

“You’re safe here and no one is going to touch a hair on your head. I can promise you that.” He told you as he stroked your face and placed a light kiss on your forehead as he was able to make out your features in the dark by the moonlight peeking in through the curtains.

“Come here.”

Joe then wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer to him as he then leaned down to place a soft kiss on your lips which you quickly returned.

All of this led up to a heated make out session with Joe now hovering over top of you as his hands reached underneath his shirt that you were wearing. His fingers lightly grazed your nipples and he then began to roll them between his fingers as he noticed that your bra that you had been wearing had been long forgotten which he was thankful for.

Before he lifted his shirt over your head, he asked for permission to make sure you were absolutely sure about wanting to do this. Joe had wanted you from day one, but if you weren’t ready to do this he was willing to wait until you were.

“Are you…?”

“Yes. I was sure earlier tonight and I'm sure now. I know the last thing I'm ever going to regret is being with you.”

Once he peeled the shirt away from your body, he now had full access to you. The plan was to take his time so he could give you the undivided attention that you deserved since he knew for a fact that Trevor wasn't giving it to you without even having to ask you about it.

His mouth found its way to one of your nipples and he began to lightly suck on it while continuing to roll the other one in between his fingers before switching making a moan escape your mouth.

“Mmm, fuck.”

“I'm going to make you feel so good, princess.” He whispered against your lips before kissing them.

The increase in wetness between your thighs was evident as you Iet out soft quiet moans from the sensation of having him explore your body with his mouth.

As he moved further south, Joe's fingers ran along your folds as he saw how wet you actually were.

“This all for me? I've barely even done anything and your body is responding like this?” He asked you as he placed one kiss on each inner thigh.

As you nodded, he inserted one finger and soon worked himself up to two before settling in between your thighs and beginning to pleasure you with his tongue.

After a few minutes, he noticed you starting to squirm and firmly wrapped his arms around your legs in the hopes of limiting your movement.

“Stay still for me princess.” Was all you heard as your hands found a way to his hair and was softly tugging on it, hoping to bring him in closer.

With the use of his tongue along with his fingers, a new sensation unknown to you was building in the lower half of your body and at the same time, Joe began to suck on your clit.

“Oh, shit….”

Joe felt your hands trying to push him away from you, but all he did was tighten his hold on your legs making sure you had no way to get away from him.

“You gonna cum for me, baby? You won't be able to if you keep moving away from me.” Joe asked you as he had come up for air, but immediately went back down.

“Yes.” Was all you said as he began to suck harder.

It took no time at all for you to feel like you were seeing stars as Joe continued to pleasure you.

It was official.

Joe had given you your first orgasm.

He gave you a few minutes to recover as he was placing kisses up and down your thighs before sliding off his sweatpants along with his boxers as he opened the bedside table to pull out a condom. It was still obviously dark in the room, but you could literally see because of the light coming through the windows past the curtains, how big he was and you suddenly became nervous.

You thought to yourself that there was no way in hell that he was about to fit.

Joe could sense this as he was putting the condom on and quickly tried to reassure you.

“No reason to be nervous, baby. It's going to fit. Most important thing is that you have to relax for me.” He told you while leaning down to lightly stroke your face.

“Okay.” You quietly said in response, but you still weren’t convinced. But at the same time, you knew that Joe had no reason to lie to you.

Once he positioned himself in front of you, he reached down to kiss you and once he pulled away from you is when you heard his voice once more.

“You ready, princess?”

You nodded, but that obviously wasn’t enough for him.

“I need words, you need to say it. I’m not doing anything unless you do.”

“I’m ready.”

Once he finally heard it, you felt Joe slowly entering you and you tightly closed your eyes. As you did this, Joe immediately felt your body tense up.

It would have probably been a good idea to tell him that you had never had sex before before all of this began happening, but knew that he would be as gentle as possible with you regardless.

That's just the type of person he was when it came to you.

“Princess, you have to relax. It's me and the last thing that I am ever going to do is hurt you. When I told you that I loved you, I meant it. Every word.” He quietly said as he leaned down to kiss you.

You nodded and several more kisses were placed on your lips when you felt him easing the rest of the way into you at the same time making you gasp as your arms wrapped around his neck.

“You're okay, I got you baby.” Joe told you as he gave you time to adjust to his size before he made any sudden movement.

Kisses were planted along your neck and shoulder as you were adjusting to a new feeling that you had never experienced before. It wasn’t quite to the point of pleasure, however you weren’t necessarily in pain either.

It felt weird.

About a minute or so had passed when you slowly felt him begin to move and you wrapped your arms around him tighter.

Now all you felt was pleasure as moans escaped from your mouth when Joe began to increase his pace.

In order to go deeper and at a better angle, Joe held onto your hips before deciding to wrap your left leg around his waist.

“If you want this as bad as you say you do, keep those legs spread. Fuck you feel so good around me, just like I knew you would.”

Since your arms were already tightly wrapped around him, his face was in the crook of your neck as he had now leaned forward.

Making that sudden change in position, he was now hitting the same spot over and over again and you just knew that it was about to send you over the edge sooner or later.

You were thinking that it would probably be sooner.

“Fuck, Joey stay right there.” You breathed out as he lifted his head to steal a quick kiss from you.

Doing what you had asked him to, his movements increased in pace while also becoming sloppy at the same time making you think that he was just as close as you were.

“Joey, I…” You trailed off as a weird sensation was building in your stomach once more and you knew it was happening again.

The second orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks and you felt like you had gotten the wind knocked out of you.

As Joe heard your soft whimpers, he placed kisses all along your shoulder blade as you rode out your high.

He placed another kiss on your forehead before he slowly slipped out of you making you wince and went to throw away the condom.

Once he had come back, he had a washcloth with warm water in his right hand as he started to gently glide it onto your body in order to wipe you off.

When he was finished, he threw it into the hamper and laid back down beside you, ultimately pulling you on top of him. Your eyes began to become heavy between Joe rubbing small circles along your back and listening to Joe's heartbeat.

Your eyes fluttered open from hearing the television on a low volume and you could only assume that Joe was already awake. Once he noticed that you began to stir, he peeked down at you seeing as you were still laying on his chest.

“Good morning, princess.” He softly said before placing a kiss on your forehead.

“Good morning. What time is it?”

“It’s almost nine and I was about to wake you up since I know that you have class at ten and it takes you five to seven business days to get ready.”

“Really, Joey?” You replied as you rolled your eyes.

“I call it like I see it. I always tell you what time I’m going to come and get you, however, I’ll be downstairs waiting in the car while you only still have one of your lashes on.”

“You get on my last nerve.”

“But did I lie?”

When Joe was met with silence and another eye roll from you, all he did was laugh.

“I guess I have to go and get ready then.” You told him as you sighed, not wanting to leave his embrace.

“We can do dinner later and have a study date…. With or without clothes.”

“JOSEPH!”

“What? What’d I say that was wrong? I was just giving you options!” He exclaimed as he then held up his hands in defense.

“I’m ignoring you. What time are we doing our dinner and study date?”

“As soon as you get out of class, just come back here.”

“I’m honestly a little nervous to go back to my apartment.” You said being completely honest.

“Just get some of your things and you can stay with me, you know that I don’t care and the most important thing is that you’re safe. I have to go to class too, but I can call Ja’Marr…”

“NO! Baby brother asks too many questions. I’ll be fine. The security guy who works there is super nice and I know if I tell him I don’t feel all that safe he’ll walk me to my apartment door.”

“As long as you’re sure. But call me if there’s a problem, understand?”

“Understood, Mr. Burrow.”

—-

Joe was still running off of the high from this morning as he had woken up to the sight of you beside him. He was walking to his last class of the day on campus when he did a double take as he spotted you in front of one of the many libraries that he knew was near a few of your classes. But who he saw you with was why he instantly became upset.

You were talking to Trevor, who of course he despised and for good reason.

He couldn't tell what the nature of the conversation was by your body language and it almost looked as if Trevor was barely paying any attention to what you were saying which wasn’t unusual.

So, did last night mean nothing to you?

Joe was watching you for a few more minutes until he looked down at his watch and noticed that if he didn't leave now that he would end up being late to class.

At this point, he was done trying.

If that's who you wanted, then fine.

And he made it up in his mind that he was done.

Completely.

Throughout the day, you were calling him and sending him text messages, that ultimately went unanswered making you nervous.

You deserved to get an explanation on why he was suddenly acting this way towards you and immediately hopped into your car after packing your bags that you were going to take in order to stay with him and quickly drove to his apartment.

The banging on Joe's door instantly annoyed him seeing as he just sat down to watch one of the many NBA games that we’re coming on that night. He glanced at the clock to see that it was barely 6 pm and had a feeling that it was you.

A deep sigh escaped his mouth before he got up to answer it. Once he did, he was met with you just as he suspected and you had a pissed off look on your face and Joe raised his eyebrows at you in confusion.

“Yes? Did you need something?”

“So, you can have sex with me, but then suddenly ignore me? I may be little, but I will kick your 6’4 ass and throw a dumbbell at your head.” You asked him and pushed your way past him into the apartment.

“It's not even like that so stop jumping to conclusions.” Joe replied as he closed the door behind you.

“Then tell me so I can understand, Joey! Because you have me confused. You claim to want me so bad and then end up ignoring me all day!? When I called you multiple times? Who does that?”

“Because I saw you with him! Why the fuck are you even talking to him? Hasn’t he hurt you enough?”

“Now look who's jumping to conclusions.” You said as you crossed your arms.

“Then why else would you be with him? You did tell me recently that you were going to give him another chance. Recently as in yesterday before we had sex so I simply thought she claims she loves me, yet she's still going back to him.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose before you said anything else to him.

“You are literally so annoying. I went to talk to him to break up with him! Last time I checked you did confess that you loved me or did I not get that right?”

“Oh.” Joe quietly said and you couldn't help but to roll your eyes.

You started to make your way back towards the door in order to leave when you felt Joe suddenly pull you back as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Let me go. I'm mad at you.” You said as you were trying to wiggle out of his grip.

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed anything.” He replied as he turned you around to face him and leaned down to kiss you.

“No, don't kiss me. Turn me loose. Leave me alone. All you literally had to do was just ask me.”

“I know, but seeing you with him just pissed me off and so I walked away. I promise it won’t happen again. You forgive me? I’m not letting you go until you say you do.” Joe asked you as he squeezed you tighter and leaned down to kiss your forehead.

“I guess.” You muttered as he led the both of you over to the couch as Joe sat down first and then pulled you onto his lap.

“So, is it official now?” You asked him as he had been focused on the game that was playing on the television.

“Is what official?”

“Me being LSU's star quarterback Joe Burrow's girlfriend.” You teased as you kissed the tip of his nose.

“You've been mine for a while. That ex-boyfriend of yours was just keeping my spot warm. I bet he never made you feel as good as I did last night.” Joe told you as he was wiggling his eyebrows as you both then let out a laugh.

“No, because I never had sex with Trevor.”

Joe immediately stopped laughing and looked at you with wide eyes.

“Wait, huh?”

“I never did because I told him that I wanted to wait. That was one of the only things he actually did respect, but I know for a fact that he's probably cheated on me multiple times because of it, but I just ignored it.” You replied while being completely honest.

“Uh, princess? Don't you think you should have told me that? Fuck did I…? Shit. I would have made it a lot more special if I would have known. I would have had candles and…”

“Stop it. It was perfect. Everything was perfect.” You cut him off as you kissed him and tried to reassure him.

“I waited for the right person who I knew for a fact was going to treat me right.”

#joe burrow #joe burrow smut #joe burrow lsu #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow x black reader #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow fic #joe burrow fanfic #joey b #joey burrow #joe shiesty #nfl imagine #joe burrow fluff #Spotify

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familyvideostevie · 9 months ago

Text

time you will not spend alone

joel miller x fem!reader, 18+ mdni romance at the end of the world is this: flowers, lazy nights in bed after long days, and savoring every moment | or, joel makes you something. jackson!joel au, fem!reader, fluff, maybe a bit cheesy but idgaf, ellie cameo cause i can't do a damn thing without her, tommy gets some page time here too, smut (riding, unprotected p in v sex, some finger sucking lol), tenderness, gift giving | 5.7k a/n: i think this is the last part of the just and just as series for the foreseeable future. thank you for reading about this little au and these two lovebirds! i adore them. thank you @frannyzooey and @macfrog for your eyes and support on this. and thank you everyone else for being patient. <3

Spring sweeps into the valley seemingly overnight. The peaks remain snow-capped but the bare branches of trees between the evergreens begin to bud. Chilly mornings lose their bite and frost turns to dew and every day there is more light.

You've always thought Jackson looks its best in winter, but it's a damn sight to see as life and color return. And the latter is your favorite part -- the rolling hills outside the walls and the forest patrol paths are dotted and then overflowing with flowers.

It makes you feel more alive. Patrol isn't a freezing ordeal anymore -- it's an opportunity to see the remaining beauty in the world.

Today's shift is short and easy but you find yourself lingering, running your hands through pine needles and turning your face to the sun. Your horse is happy to munch on a patch of grass in a clearing just off the main trail, but your patrol partner is less than impressed.

"Are you serious?" Ellie moans. "You're stopping again? What the fuuuuuuuuck."

She sags in the saddle. The pout on her lips makes her look like a kid sent to bed without supper rather than an almost-twenty-year-old forced to spend some extra minutes in the fresh air. Shimmer has no problem chewing on some weeds despite her rider's moaning.

"Let me enjoy the sun," you say. "When you get older you'll appreciate the little things, too."

You hop off your horse and Ellie sighs loudly.

"Jesus, you're not that old," she mutters. "Seriously, what are you doing?"

You sweep your arms around you, gesturing at the meadow. "These flowers are nice," you tell her, pointedly. She adjusts the rifle slung over her shoulder. "I think I'm going to pick some and bring them home."

She snorts. "Oh, is Joel suddenly into flowers?"

You ignore her bait and crouch, gaze sweeping over the array of colors in front of you. You tried to learn the names of flowers years ago when you found a book on them in an old bookstore but they never stuck. Purples, pinks, and yellows, large petals and small ones, delicate yet hardy to survive the world past its end.

Joel isn't a fussy man. Young fathers don't get to be, and anyone alive these days sheds that impulse just as quickly. He's happy to wake up every day with you by his side, his kid in the garage out back and walls around everything he loves, keeping it all safe.

It makes it both easy and hard to please him -- you want to give him everything but he seems to want nothing. A perfect paradox, a puzzle to solve.

God, you love him. You love spring, you love Joel. Everything feels good.

So, you start to gather stems, snapping them at their bases, humming as you work.

"How do you choose which ones to pick?"

"Fuck," you gasp, careening forward onto one palm and looking over your shoulder. Ellie is off her horse and much closer than before, standing directly behind you. "Jesus, you're stealthy."

She shrugs, her smirk a pleased slash across her face. "You're oblivious as fuck."

You roll your eyes at her.

"Seriously," Ellie says, crossing her arms. She jerks her chin at the small bouquet you've got in one hand. "How do you make it look so nice?"

"Oh, so we've moved on from the making-fun-of-me part of this?"

She crouches next to you, elbows on her knees.

"I, uh -- " Her cheeks go pink, freckles standing out against her blush. "Dina likes flowers."

You bump her shoulder with yours. "I'm going to be so nice and not tease you."

"Fuck off," she scoffs, tucking her smile into her shoulder.

It's quick work. Ellie follows your lead, balances out the blooms she picks with some leafy weeds. She ties them together with one of the minimum four spare hairbands she has on her person at all times -- bits of cloth, occasionally a rare unused elastic from before if she's found some on patrol.

"Isn't it kinda shitty?" she muses, nimble fingers turning her bouquet this way and that to admire it. "We're killing them. The flowers, I mean."

"Little late to have a conscience about killing," you say lightly. The two rabbits she pulled from Jackson snares hang from her saddle. You've seen her in action, too -- gun raised, hands steady, blood splattered across her cheek. It's not an accusation, far from it. Violence is a language you both speak, one she's known for most of her still-short life.

She rolls her eyes, every bit a teenager. "Whatever."

You sigh. "You're right, though," you say. "There were whole shops dedicated to this before. Selling flowers, making bouquets and centerpieces and all that shit."

She probably knows this, but she lets you describe it. Ellie soaks up bits of the old world like it will materialize before her if she listens hard enough. Joel says it was much worse when she was younger, right after they settled into Jackson. She wanted details about everything and watched every movie she could get her hands on. You think she was satisfying her curiosity, sure, but also that she was trying to understand him better -- but didn't know how to say so.

"Weird," she mutters. "And you just...bought them for other people?"

"Or yourself." You pat her shoulder and stand. Your horse tries to nibble on your flowers before you haul yourself back in the saddle. "It was just a nice thing to do, I guess."

"Killing something to make someone else happy," Ellie says with a dry laugh. She tucks her bouquet in the crook of her arm once she's back in the saddle. "I guess everyone does that these days."

It's absurd when she puts it that way, but it's true. You've all got blood on your hands. You would kill for this girl, for Joel, for pretty much anyone in Jackson. And you have.

The flowers are for Joel, they're for your house, they're for you. Something beautiful to bring home alongside your dirt stains and scarred hands, your haunted eyes and nightmares. No one is spared those.

It's only mid-morning by the time you get back to the wall. You and Ellie left at dawn, short sticks drawn for the early shift. She leaves you in the stables with a mock salute and a shout of thanks, practically jogging to Dina's to give her the flowers.

You're untacking your horse when you hear familiar laughter, a deep chuckle and Ellie's faint indignant protest.

"Mornin'," Joel says from behind you. "Was hopin' to catch you at the gate."

"Can you hold these?"

You blindly extend the hand with the flowers. His fingers carefully extract the bouquet and you return to brushing out your horse.

"Does this have somethin' to do with Ellie runnin' out of her with flowers of her own?"

"Never let anyone say you're unobservant, Joel Miller."

He snickers. You leave your horse with a final pat on the neck and thanks for a job well done.

When you face Joel, he looks tired -- he's been pulling extra long days replacing windows and roof tiles after the winter's damage. God knows that man never seems fully rested, but it's a little worse when the seasons change.

He's told you time and time again that standing two stories off the ground is a hell of a lot safer than fighting some Infected on patrol, but you still worry. Just like you know he worries about you beyond the walls, how he's a little tenser whenever you're not in sight, whenever he hasn't seen Ellie for a few days ‘cause they're both busy. It's just how he loves. It's how you both love.

You make no move to take the flowers from him, instead brushing some sawdust from his shoulder.

"Did you have a job already?" you ask.

"Small one. Fixin' a crooked over mailbox." He looks pointedly at his full fist. "You gonna explain now?"

"They're for you."

Joel blinks once, twice, brows furrowing like you're speaking a different language. Maybe a few years ago you'd start to feel self-conscious, unsure of your romantic gesture and insecure in his reaction. But now, as fully in love and connected to this man as you are, you lean in.

"If you're too manly to carry flowers through town --"

You make to take them from him but he snaps out of his daze and wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you to his chest in a smooth motion.

He also holds the bouquet in the air and out of reach.

"Hey, now," he says. "Hands off. These ain't your flowers."

"I picked 'em," you remind him, poking him in the ribs for good measure.

He flinches just a little but doesn't move. His embrace is warm and familiar and you sink into it. "Gettin' romantic," he mutters and brings the flowers back down to eye level to examine them.

"I'm just trying to catch up to you," you say into his jacket. He huffs and his palm rubs a slow line up and down your arm.

You wiggle out of his embrace to shoulder your pack.

"I am pretty romantic," he muses.

It's true. Even if he's joking and even if no one but you gets to see it, Joel has always made sure you feel loved. Courtship and romance look different these days, but it still comes naturally to him -- loving. Dinner dates, jewelry, and trips to the airport have become a battered paperback, a sharpened knife, and bloody knuckles, but it rings just as true. He loves you and he loves his family the best way he knows how – by keeping you all safe.

And you do your best to convey the same thing. You tell him, of course, but you also mend his shirts and chop wood when his back is acting up, and you look after his kid like she's your own.

Joel deserves to know that he can receive all that he gives, too – the protection, the tenderness, the beauty. Moments of softness and rest where he knows he’s taken care of, thought of, that he matters beyond the things he can do for everyone else.

So, you also do things like bring him flowers.

Sometimes you feel like it will never be enough. You will never have enough time to show him how much he means to you, how he's saved you, how important and cherished and loved he is. How good he is.

Joel reaches for your face with his free hand. He traces the line of your cheekbone with his thumb and smirks when you inhale sharply. Another patrol returns and the stables are suddenly louder and more crowded than before. If you're both free for the rest of the day, you want to drag him up to your bedroom and spend the hours there. You want to show him, for the millionth time, how much you love him.

"Okay, Mr. Pretty Romantic," you say, grabbing his hand and tangling your fingers together. "Let's go home."

___

Joel is hiding something from you.

The flowers last for a week and you watch him eye them and smile every time he enters the kitchen.

But after they droop and go in the compost pile, something shifts. Something subtle, sure, but you spend most of your waking hours looking for or at Joel, so you notice.

He starts keeping his workshop door closed. Normally you'll sit and watch him work, or he'll teach you a few chords here and there on the guitars he's making, but your lessons move to the porch and the upstairs hallway loses the scent of wood glue and stain.

In fact, he actively steers you away from the room altogether. He's all just needs a deep clean and it's messy, is all. It's not rocket science -- he's making something for you, clearly. But giving him a hard time is too fun to pass up.

One night, you and Ellie wait at the bottom of the stairs. There's a dinner and movie night in the old church and you're taking the opportunity to make it a family outing.

"You coming?" you holler up the stairs. You hear the door creak open.

"Gimme a second," he calls back down.

"Jesus," you mutter. You tap the side of Ellie’s sneaker with your boot. "You know anything about that?"

Honesty is important between all of you, but you know Joel and Ellie need to have their secrets. There is too much tangled history between them for you to understand it all. It's important to you that they have a relationship all their own, even if it means they scheme.

Ellie is examining her switchblade with intense focus. "I might," she says with a smirk. "He's a lovesick loser, I'll tell you that."

You lean on the banister and raise your eyebrows. "Do you remember when you asked me how to embroider so you could put Dina's name on her jacket?"

The knife swings closed with a snick and she rolls her eyes at you, cheeks pink.

"Shit, dude," she says. "Why do I tell you anything?"

"She liked the flowers, though, didn't she?"

Ellie crosses her arms and smiles at whatever memory she's seeing in her mind. "Yeah," she says. "She did. Jesse gave me so much shit, though --"

The door upstairs closes and Joel's heavy footfalls cut her off.

"Finally," you grumble. He trods down the stairs, arms half in his jacket when he catches sight of the two of you. "Are you hiding state secrets in there?"

"What the fuck does that mean?" Ellie asks.

"Might be," is all he says. He's got that twinkle in his eye that means mischief but he looks proud of himself. You can let him have this, whatever this is. You trust him and you'll find out eventually.

"Alright," you say, pushing off the banister and heading for the door. "You're going to breathe toxic fumes with the door closed."

"No, seriously," Ellie says. "What kind of secrets would a state be keeping?"

"Ain't nothin' toxic in there," he says lightly. He bumps Ellie's shoulder with his. "C'mon."

She throws her hands up in the air. "You know, it's shitty when you ignore me."

"Did you hear somethin'?" Joel says to you.

You shake your head, swallowing your laughter. "No," you say. "Nothing."

"Assholes." She pushes past you and down the steps onto the street. "I'm going to make sure there are no mashed potatoes left when you get there."

You don't mind letting Joel do whatever he's up to in all of his spare moments. It does mean you have more time to yourself, so you pick up some extra wall shifts.

And when one of those shifts is with Tommy? Well, you can't help but needle him a little bit about it all.

"Do you know what your brother is up to?" you ask him.

The wind today carries some lingering winter bite, so you've got the collar of your coat pulled up around your ears. Tommy’s hair whips around his face when he raises his eyebrows at you.

"Gonna have to be more specific," he says. "My brother is always up to some shit."

"I think he'd say the same thing about you."

Tommy laughs. He's got the reputation for being the more easy-going of the Millers, but you know he's more a match for Joel than most think. Out in the world, they work as one, silent and deadly, always in step when it counts. They still speak a language all their own with just a look and you see so much of them in each other when you pay attention.

"Well, I learned it all from him," he says. He adjusts his grip on the rifle and sighs. "I happen to know what you're talkin' 'bout, though."

"Is he just telling everyone but me?"

"Nah," Tommy scoffs. "Asked me and Ellie for help, s'all. And you know he tells that girl everythin'."

You both smile for a moment at your fondness for them.

Tommy clears his throat. "Does it bother you? Him keepin' a secret?"

You know Tommy won't let your answer get back to Joel. He's asking as your friend, as your kind-of brother. He's asking because he cares.

A patrol crests the hill, green flag waving in the air. They whistle and shout for the gate to be opened.

You step closer to Tommy so he can hear you. "No," you say. "I just like to gossip."

"Don't I know it," he chuckles. "You two are the eyes and ears of this damn town. Knowin' everything."

"Except what happens in my own home," you tease.

He shrugs. "You'll like it, if that helps," he adds.

"I know I will."

You look out at the world beyond the wall and smile to yourself.

Joel has made you a few things over the years. He works wonders with his hands all the time: Beautiful, intricate carvings for the house, for Ellie, for new babies in town. The wall of guitars, not to mention the ones he's made for kids to learn on in school. You're better at sewing than he is, but he's pretty damn good – fixing up pillowcases and blankets and clothes of all kinds. Joel is a craftsman.

Hands that hold you can also pull a trigger, punch until there's nothing left, and craft a work of art.

And he knows you. He pays attention -- there is a reason behind everything he does. If he's making you something, you know you'll love it.

"Strange, ain’t it?" Tommy says. You turn to him, a question on your face. "World ended and here we all are, happy. Makin' shit for each other. Gosspin'."

You sigh. “Took a lot to get here.”

“Damn right,” he says with a long whistle. “Lotta shit behind us.”

“Do you ever regret it?” you ask.

Tommy considers your words. You two talk plenty, but you’ve never really spoken about the past. Joel tells you whatever you want to hear about the years before you knew him, so you’ve got a pretty good picture of their lives after the outbreak.

"Can I tell you somethin’?” Tommy asks. You nod. "Alright. I – I never thought I'd see my brother this happy again. And I wish every damn day that Sarah was here to see it. To know him this way, to meet Maria. To know you and Ellie."

Joel has said the same thing before and it’s an honor greater than you can ever explain.

"When I saw him and that girl a few years ago, I thought --" Tommy clears his throat. "I thought maybe he’d made it through all the shit we did. And I was right. She brought him through it. And now he’s here, doin’ stable life shit we dreamed about before."

"Ellie is a force," you say, a little surprised to find your voice watery. The love between Ellie and Joel is fierce and powerful, evident to anyone who witnesses it. They would do anything for each other, even though they're mending.

"She is," he says. "And so are you.” He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Shit, I don’t know where I’m goin’ with this. Point is – seein' him love you, too, shows me he’s through it. He's alive again, you know? And I’d do all the shit we did over again just to get us all here. So, no. I don’t regret it."

It’s nothing you haven’t thought before, but the words work their way into your heart and sit there, heavy and warm.

“Damn,” you say. You swallow and give him a wide smile. "If you keep going, Tommy Miller, I will start crying and that would embarrass us both."

He laughs and blinks a few times. You join in, wiping your eyes.

"Alright, I won't," he says. "Jesus, all you did was ask what he's doin' in that workshop."

You clap him on the shoulder. "I won't tell anyone you started blubbering on duty."

He snorts. "Ain't that generous of you.”

Days pass. A week. You almost forget about Joel's project because he spends less and less time in the workshop and more on tasks around town as the days get longer. You're both busy -- chopping wood, planting bulbs for the fall, helping de-shed the horses. There's always work to be done.

After a particularly long day on your feet, you come out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel to find he's gotten home while you were in the shower.

"Hey, stranger," you say. You're mostly dry but some water drips down your back and you shiver. Joel is leaning against the headboard on top of the sheets without his shirt, reading whatever book he's onto now.

"Didn't hear me come in?" he asks. He sets his volume aside and pulls off his glasses.

"I was too busy coming back to life under some hot water." He probably heard you singing off-key to some long-lost song stuck in your head for the millionth time. "And you're quiet as hell, Joel."

He shrugs.

You just look at each other, the intimate gaze of two people who know every inch of each other and never tire of it.

The sleep pants he wears to bed this time of year are lightweight, thin enough that you can see the outline of him from here. His stomach is soft where he's bent at the waist and the trail of hair above his waistband is dark, darker than the rest of what's on his chest.

The golden expanse of his skin just begs to be touched, so you make your way over to him in your towel. He makes room for you to perch on the edge of the bed, the bare skin of your thigh pressing into his pants. His palm rests on your knee.

"I haven't seen much of you lately," you say softly. "’Cause of that damn thing you're working on."

His fingers press into your skin.

"Ain't patience a virtue, or something like that?"

"Whatever magic you're working better be worth waiting for," you tease.

Joel's hand resumes its path up your leg and he smirks.

"I can work some magic right now," he says.

You laugh, throwing your head back as his fingertips edge under the towel.

"That was awful," you say. "I should get dressed in all of my layers right now and go sleep on the couch."

You pull away from his touch so you can straddle him, your towel only held on by one hand at your breasts.

Joel snickers. "But then I wouldn't be able to do this."

Nimble fingers find your cunt between your spread legs and you gasp a laugh, one hand on his shoulder to balance you in his lap.

"Smooth," you manage. His other hand tugs on the towel and you release it, your slightly damp skin breaking out into goosebumps in the air of the bedroom.

Joel drags his lips between your breasts and you feel his smile.

"Christ," he says. "You comin' outta there in just a towel and you expect me to go to sleep?"

He pulls his fingers from you and frames your face with both hands to drag it down to his in a lazy, thorough kiss, like he's savoring each moment.

His tongue traces the seam of your lips and you let him in readily, arms wrapping around his shoulders as you grind down on the hardness you can feel through his pants.

"I've missed you," you say, dragging your tongue along down his jaw. His fingertips press into your bare hips hard enough to bruise, but it's a grounding touch rather than an urgent one. You want to take your time because you have missed him, and you think he feels the same way.

"Sorry, sweetheart," Joel groans, dragging your lips back to his. "It'll be worth it."

You pull back to look him in the eyes. The hazel-grey is almost totally taken over by his pupil, but his gaze softens when you cup his cheek and smile.

"I know," you say, and mean it. Naked in his lap in your bedroom, you mean it. You always mean it. You always trust him.

Joel kisses you once, twice, and you pull on his lower lip with your teeth when he pulls away. His nostrils flare and before you can tug his cock from his pants, he holds two fingers out to you.

You laugh, circling his wrist and bringing the digits past your lips. You swirl your tongue around them and really take your time with it, laving at his knuckles before releasing them with a pop.

His cock twitches beneath you and he huffs.

"You're an easy man to please, Joel Miller," you tell him, tugging down his pants and letting his shaft spring free. You stroke him root to tip and he hisses.

"Nah," he manages. "It's ‘cause it's you."

He follows his words with a circle of your clit from his spit-slick fingers.

"See?" you gasp. "Romantic."

It's a bit crowded, his hand rubbing your clit and yours slowly jerking him, but neither of you rush it. You pant together, dotting lazy kisses on any piece of bare skin you can reach. You breathe him in, the combination of sweat and gun oil and fresh detergent that's just Joel. A rush of tenderness hits you so suddenly your nose stings.

"Joel," you say, a bit ragged. "Joel, can you --"

A gentle hand on your face brings your foreheads together, his eyes on yours.

"Whatever you want," he groans. "Whatever you want, it's yours."

You can't help it -- you laugh. Brightly and happily, almost in disbelief that this man is yours. Real and solid under you right now, beside you every night. Yours to love and cherish and all the rest.

"You laughin' at me?" he grumbles, though you can tell he's fighting a smile.

"I just love you, is all," you say. You probably don't say it enough. You and Joel show each other every day, so much so that you can't imagine he doesn't know. As it is, you feel loved by him with every move he makes, every time he looks in your direction, every time he says your name.

"And I want you to fuck me," you add.

It's Joel's turn to laugh.

"Now who's the romantic one?" he says.

You rise from his lap and settle onto your back on the other side of the bed, stretching with your hands above your head.

His eyes follow the line of your bare body, fondness and hunger recognizable in his gaze.

"Always so damn pretty," he grumbles. "Prettiest thing I've ever seen."

"Flirt," you tease.

He rises to his knees and pumps his cock a few times with his fist. You spread your legs for him, knees bent up against your chest.

He settles between your knees and you lock them around his hips. Joel honest-to-god winks at you before dragging two fingers through your folds to make sure you're slick enough.

"Ready?"

You nod. He enters you in one practiced move and you groan in unison as you adjust. It takes some shuffling but he finds a position he can hold, and you wrap your arms around his neck.

Joel fucks you slow and deep. Each drag of his cock against your walls curls your toes and drags whines from both of your throats. He keeps up his usual babel -- doin' so good, feel like a dream, so damn tight, cunt's a fuckin' miracle -- and you press your hands into his bare back like he's a life raft.

Sweat beats on your brow, your chest, everywhere, and you suck bruises into his neck as his thrusts get a little frantic. Your own orgasm sneaks up on you, the pressure building and building and building until it snaps without warning.

"Joel -- Joel, fuck, I --"

You clench around him and he chants your name, that's it, baby, come on my cock, and buries himself to the hilt to finish inside you.

He hovers above you on trembling arms long enough to press a sweet kiss to your lips before rolling off of you.

"Now I'm ready for bed," you say, panting.

You fling a hand out lazily and it lands on his chest. He intertwines your fingers and his gaze finds yours. You smile as you get your breathing under control.

Joel smooths your brow with a thumb. "Don't forget to --"

"I know, I know," you say. "C'mon, you know this isn't my first rodeo." You get up from the bed and head to the bathroom.

"You sayin' I'm a bull?" Joel calls after you.

"Save a horse, ride a cowboy!" you holler back, cleaning yourself up. "Didn't people used to say that?"

Joel doesn't answer you but you laugh at your own joke. You make your way back to the bed in old pyjamas and find him back in his sweatpants, feet flat on the floor like he's about to get up and go somewhere.

"Joel?"

He sighs, his shoulders moving up and down like he's bracing himself.

"It's done," he says. "Your surprise."

The confession stops you in your tracks.

"Oh?"

You know Joel better than mosty, but sometimes he's still a puzzle. The hesitation, the slight air of anxiety about him as he says it confuses you. Because Joel is good at taking care of people, and he has to know it -- those years he and Ellie didn't speak you know he left her things, know that he took care of her from afar as much as she would let him. It's just what he does, he uses his hands to beat and shoot and bloody – but also to carve and hold and love.

They're the same thing, really.

And he's made you something – one of countless gifts he's given you, tangible and not, throughout your relationship.

But he's nervous. As if you wouldn't love anything he made, anything he does. As if you're not gone over every part of him.

"Hm," he says. "Yeah. Let me --"

Joel gets up from the bed and pads over to the dresser to rummage around in a drawer. You meet him back on the bed and he's holding a square-ish parcel wrapped in cloth.

You gingerly take it from him.

"This is what you've been working on?" you ask softly. He nods.

You unwrap the cloth and find yourself holding leather-bound journal. The hide is smooth under your fingertips, scraped clean by hand and tanned a dark chestnut.The spine is about an inch wide, the whole thing swen together with neat stitches of what can only be catgut. A thinner strip of leather is wrapped around the cover and tucked into itself carefully. It must have taken him ages to make.

"Joel," you gasp. "It's...god, it's beautiful."

He tells you how he found it on patrol a few weeks ago. The cover was fucked but the paper was somehow fine, so he dried out the pages and rebound it with a hide he tanned himself. You run your hands over it again almost like you can feel his fingerprints all over it, the hours he poured into the pages.

The inside cover falls open easily when you undo the tie and you see letters in the bottom left corner of it. Your eyes sting.

Joel has carefully burned your name into the leather, each letter perfectly lined up with the next. You haven't had something with your name on it in years.

He clears his throat. "Ellie said she'd give you some of her pens. Show you how to refill 'em."

You look up from your gift and find so much love on his face you can hardly stand it. He was inside you not that long ago and somehow this is more intimate. You surge forward into his space and wrap an arm around his shoulders, burying your face in his neck.

"I don't know what to say," you confess. "Just -- thank you."

He runs his hand along your spine.

"S'nothin'," he says. "Just saw it and thought of you, is all."

You release him and shake your head in disbelief. This man.

"What should I write in it?"

Joel's cheeks darken a little. Of course he's thought of everything.

"Figured you could write about...all this." He waves a hand in the air like that explains anything.

"All what?"

He shrugs one bare shoulder.

"Life," he says. "Jackson. Folks here. Might be nice, havin' the memories."

You scoot closer to him so you're almost in his lap again.

"You want me to write down the gossip?" You mean it as a joke but Joel nods.

"You pay attention," he explains. "Someone's gotta."

You're not much of a writer anymore, haven't had cause to be in twenty years. But you do like to tell stories. You both do.

The pages are soft under your fingertips as you flip through them again. You're going to fill them with stories -- about this town, about Joel and Ellie and Tommy and the people you love. The people you've lost, too. The memories that hurt like bruises, like fresh wounds. But the good stuff, too. The gossip, the love stories, the plants in the yard and the flowers on the trails.

Joel has given you the ability to record your lives.

You reach over him to set the journal on the nightstand before you frame his face with both of your hands.

"I'm going to write pages and pages about you, Joel Miller," you whisper.

He huffs, cheeks warm under your palms. "That's borin'."

You shake your head and lean in until your lips brush and your eyes flutter shut.

"That's the story," you say. "That's my life. This is my life. You are."

“I love you,” he breathes. “So damn much. Y’know that?”

How could you not? You say so and kiss him firmly but without hurry. You’ve got lots of time. You’ve got forever.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction

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httpshujii · 1 year ago

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thx for the tags sou and rikaaa <33

1 - HATE ME - feat. multiple (hq, jjk, tr)

2 - PRETTY HANDS - feat. Choso Kamo

3 - PARADISE KISS - feat Hanma Shuji

Im like fangirling over my own work 😭

@b0nten @natdu @moral-laws @chigirizzz @saesins @beanxiv @yuzurins @moonswolfie + whoever wants to join !!

If you’ve ever wondered what fics I’ve written that I’m particularly attached too… TAG GAME!

If you’re tagged, reblog this post with the fics you’ve written that you are particularly proud of / have an attachment too!

Respectfully, Fuck off | College AU Megumi x Reader

Roommates | Modern College AU Sanemi x Reader

Pale Blue | Canon Universe Suguru x Preg! Reader

I don’t go back and reread my fics often, but I have gone back and reread these babies a handful of times

Tagging: @ghost-1-y @renhoeku @muzanswaifu @meowzfordayz @peachdues @magnoliaomega @mydarlingdahlia @sunandflame @benkeibear

#PARADISE KISS MY LOVE #choso has pretty hands idgaf what anyone else says #and hate me #is so #AAA #[𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐠𝐬]

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joejhang · 3 months ago

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andrew's such a fake idgafer no way anyone ever thought this man was apathetic or soulless like...he cares so fucking much??? he beat up four grown men trying to hurt nicky (as a teenager, btw). he enrolled them all in psu so aaron could become a doctor. he threatened nicky at knifepoint not to hurt or touch neil (and this wasn't about neil specifically this was because he's been there, he's been a victim, and he wouldn't want anyone else, even this strange know-nothing kid who he finds suspicious, to experience it). he says "spoil the ending for me, did you kill him?" when renee told him about the man who raped her and she can tell he cares about her answer; he cared to know if she escaped the man who abused her even though he barely knew her at all at the time. he punched matt (a guy like twice his size) for hitting kevin. he nearly choked allison to death for slapping aaron. he freaked out so badly when neil was kidnapped; he literally strangled kevin, lapped the campus multiple times, went through his bag and phone, checked hospital records, felt fear for the first time in years...and everyone's still just like "oh yeah he doesn't have a soul." what??? he yells at someone for the first time when bee has a heart attack. he didn't tell bee about neil even though he told her about so much else because he didn't want to risk her disapproval. he had to sit in silence for a few minutes just processing how easily aaron and bee accepted his relationship with neil. he said "everyone knows now, bee" after they all found out about dr*ke's assault because he couldn't stomach the fact that he thought his loved ones wouldn't trust him to protect them now that they thought he couldn't protect himself. he bought neil armbands to match his so he wouldn't have to see the scars his father's people made on his arms. he ran to neil like all of hell was at his heels when riko threatened him. who the fuck ever thought he was apathetic or soulless.

#the next time someone calls him soulless i might have to fight them #he cares!!! so much!!!#i need everyone to get this #he's just great at pretending #aftg #all for the game #andrew minyard #neil josten #kevin day #andreil #aaron minyard #twinyards #zoe yaps

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chimimon · 29 days ago

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What Gave Me Away?

Astarion x f!Reader

Word Count 9.5k

Disclaimer! What you are about to read contains the following: GAMEPLAY SPOILERS! & ROMANCING ASTARION SPOILERS! Mentions of canonical violence, Astarion POV, angst, with comfort (it ends nice I promise), slow burn, depictions of anxiety, depression, anger, insecurity, guilt, manipulation, blood drinking (of course), and it’s long as fuuuuuuu

& what I have to say is… As it turned out, I had played all of Act 2 out of order, and stopped doing that before I did some irreversible damage to my Moonrise Tower to-do list. Which means when I began to write this fic EVERYTHING WAS OUT OF ORDER. It still might be but idgaf anymore. Even the mf confession scene (I WIN! I WIN AND I DIDN’T EVEN TRY TO CHARM THAT VAMPIRE MF) I was sitting in my room, phone on my chest, Baldurs Gate in my hands googling ‘what to do before moonrise’, ‘moonrise or mausoleum first in bg3’, because I explored much more than I should have, apparently… So this fic has been Frankenstein-ed to death, and the word count has greatly exceeded my expectations. It’s kind of my baby so be nice and give it a little love if you like it… or don’t! I appreciate you either way. And Special thanks to E.P. for the prompt and her friend in SoCal because I was about to screw myself OVEEERRR!

Everything seemed bleak on the way to the Light Inn. Nothing magical or charming about the glowing mushrooms anymore and the air felt as thick as water. Astarion faithfully trudged behind you through the mud, uneven trails, and hostile shadowy figures. But sometimes you would squint at the marker on the map or linger a little longer than you should have. He would watch you squeeze your right hand with your left as you studied the hastily blotted spot, then you would trace the drawn pathway with your left hand while the right one would cover and squeeze your mouth. Beyond scenery, and new objectives, everyone was adapting. They had to; he had to. But you were changing faster than others, faster than him, and much faster than he could keep track of.

Astarion felt like he was watching you disappear, or feeling you slip out of his hands the way blood from deep wounds squeezed between desperately closed fingers. From kind traveler, comforter, and hopefully hopeless leader, you burned with a desire to be it all. In front of other wandering bodies, the mere strangers swimming through the Underdark, Astarion watched you hold this fire with outstretched, kerosene-soaked hands, just to give someone else light. You might never see these people again, but you did it anyways, even if all it did was burn. Whether it be fighting at some poor soul's side or offering words of comfort, once the rescuee turned to leave Astarion watched to see whatever leftover flame danced in your palms. Some nights he couldn’t even call it that despite you cradling it close to your chest.

Often times Astarion thought of taking over your dealings even if it meant they’d get a little lost in his blind, apathetic advice. He knew that you were the most levelheaded person to lead but gods you started to look as lost as he already felt. The Inn was just a bridge away, before it was it was a group of protective Harpers away. Before anyone could find a place to lay their heads Astarion felt his patience thin when having to save Isobel was thrown into the mix. But you fought fearlessly. Always saving people without a second to spare, or a second to think.

Lately, Astarion wondered just where you had been all these years.

“If possible,” you spoke in soft whispers to Jaheira about your accommodations. “Could I have a single room for tonight? I-I can pay I just-”

With a quick hand over yours and a warm smile, Jaheira reassured you that after keeping their Selûne Warrior safe, the least she could do was let you have a room to yourself. “It has two beds, but you can push them together for one big one.” You nodded and thanked her with a long breath out.

Astarion for a moment pretended to be looking at a patron nearby as you walked toward him. But he couldn’t help trying to keep you in scene before you could arrive. Trying to read your shoulders, eyes brows and hands. Truthfully Astarion was looking for something soft in your inventory; he wondered if tonight you might have anything to spare.

“If you’re hungry,” your worn out, dim voice and all-knowing watch cut in. “You can feed on me tonight if you’d like.”

“I was just so hoping you’d ask. But are you really looking for alone time?” Giving you a tilted head and lopsided glance was enough to tell him where he stood. “Or are you looking for alone time with me, darling?”

“I was going to pretend you weren’t obviously eavesdropping, but you’d love that wouldn’t you?” You were warm enough to keep up with a quirked a brow and an equally lazy grin. “After today I feel like everyone can smell me from outside the Inn. So, until I can shower... I don’t even want to think about doing anything other than sleeping in a bed.”

“I’m sure you don’t.” He whisked behind you and whispered, “But if change your mind, at least think of me.”

“Aha, I’ll be seeing you later,” the back of your hand smacked your forehead as though you were swooning. “Tonight.”

A small guilt tugged at his chest before you nodded off and up the stairs. Astarion would lounge around in the waiting area while Karlach gushed over Jaheira from afar. Shadowheart walked alongside her to study the Inn with wholehearted skepticism. Audibly muttering her thoughts about the moon maiden, the area as a whole, and how Shar’s worshippers must have had their reasons. She broke away from Karlach and headed to Astarion with her eyes stuck to Jaheira. “We should probably get to our room them?”

“Right.”

On cue, Karlach caught them both headed up the stairs and followed. She waved to Jaheira, still gushing. “Gods isn’t this exciting- oh, hey? Where’d our little leader go?” Karlach asked upon arrival.

“She might’ve beat us to bed.” Shadowheart smiled. “I wouldn’t blame her if she’s fast asleep, she’s earned it.”

Astarion thought about letting them know about your requested ‘alone time’ but figured you would come around to telling them after they find you.

Little drops of drying water decorated the wooden floor in a trail that led down the stairs. Astarion followed the trail with his eyes alongside Karlach who noticed it too. “Wait, Shadowheart,” she called.

None of them had noticed you pass by with freshly washed hair and a towel around your shoulders. They all backtracked down the staircase, Karlach stood near a game of chess, Shadowheart by the banister, and Astarion some feet behind you while you knelt in front of a hairless cat. You seemed more at ease tonight.

“Hello, your highness.” You let your hand keep you steady on the ground as you spoke. “I’ve come to admire your beauty.” The cat sat tall and proud, lifting his head so you can awe at his hairless self. “And what a beautiful cat indeed.” You cooed without reaching to touch the animal.

The cat nodded and swiftly made its way over to its bed, dismissing you with its whole, hairless body. You stood up, stretched your arms above your head before catching the group lounging nearby. Nothing was said as you politely waved to everyone before turning your attention to a man and child playing chess.

From behind you couldn’t tell just then who you were looking at but as you rounded the table to get a good view of the game, Raphael and Mol, the Tiefling child who spoke on everyone's behalf earlier, seemed to be in a heated match. Raphael was going to win despite giving Mol pointers. If anything, his pointers were just to remind Mol that she was going to lose no matter the move.

The child's pouting seemed to give you an idea. You took a drawn-out stretch being sure to overextend your arms and back. Astarion knew exactly what you were doing before you ‘lost your balance’ and knocked into the board. The pieces tipped and rolled in every direction and Raphael shot a knowing look at you, only turning back to the board after his opponent had pieced it back together.

“Well, go on, Mol.” The devil muttered.

With one move Mol won the game and shot up from their seat. “Well, that settles it. Fair and square!” They exclaimed proudly.

“Sure, fair and square.” Raphael nodded up to you. “But before you go,” Mol looked over her shoulder. “Think about my offer.”

Up and away she went while Raphael turned to his leftover audience. “Fancy seeing you all here, and so far away from the sun.”

“I didn’t know you struck up deals with children.” Your tone surprised Astarion.

“Don’t you worry, it’s only a necessary evil. She’ll come around to the only option she has,” Raphael expectantly looked past you to Astarion. “But I have a feeling your little friend has a question they want to ask me.”

“I do,” Astarion’s eye contact wavered. “I have a proposal.” Raphael mocked him before mentioning something about his how drinking blood would burn more than whiskey. “This is serious business, devil.” Astarion hardened his voice as he explained the runes. From the corner of his eye, he watched you stiffly fold your arms and size Raphael up with a glare. Astarion felt some comfort in that. “I want to know if it’s maybe a contract...”

“Well, what could it be?” Raphael melodically taunted. “A lover letter, a deed, a contract?” He waved his hand in front of Astarion’s face like he was introducing the opening act in a play. “But I need time to think. I will have to get back to you on that.”

Astarion whined, reiterating just how serious this was to him before asking, “Just how soon will you get back to me on that?”

“Soon.”

At some point you fidgeted with the fabric of the towel around your neck before steadily pulling it to one side of your shoulder. “Don’t worry,” the devil reassured both of you, “I am most inclined to help.” With dramatic flair, Raphael disappeared in a quick plume of smoke.

All eyes but yours turned to Astarion, and Astarion with his on you. It was clear that Raphael’s attitude had rubbed you the wrong way as you blankly stared at the spot he vanished from. “I’ll get back to you on that.” you mumbled. Your damp hair had soaked into the neck of your top. The towel dangled in your balled fist at your hip. The cool breeze sent shivers up your neck before you put the cloth back onto shoulders. After another moment of thinking, you turned around to head to your room.

“Darling?” Despite it being barely audible, his voice seemed to reach you anyway as he caught your subtle hesitation before decidedly going on your way.

Karlach and Shadowheart both began to say something but in vain as you were so lost in thought still that you couldn’t hear. They turned their attention to Astarion who intently watched you. “Is something going on between you two?”

“What?” Astarion snapped his head to Karlach.

“Sorry.” She snorted. “It could’ve been Raphael but she just seems way more tired than usual.”

“Well, we are in the Underdark, Karlach.” He said obviously. “It’s dark down here, and I’m sure that the dark makes most normal people tired.”

“Don’t be rude Astarion.” Shadowheart butt in. “Are you sure that feeding on her every night wouldn’t be a contributing factor along with ‘the dark’?”

“Haven’t you been healing her up every morning?”

“I have not. Not since we’ve been down here.” Karlach watched in awe between the stairs and then to two bantering at the bottom. “So, if you’ve been feeding on her still, well... She hasn’t had any of her usual morning chats with me.” Shadowheart finished.

Karlach watched as Astarion’s eyes round in realization. The guilt grew, pushing his stomach up into his neck. “Oh Fangs, you didn’t know. It’s okay, I think.”

“Is it, Karlach?” Shadowheart interjected, shooting a venomous glare at the ill looking vampire. “It started with a dagger to her neck, which she forgave. Then she’s understanding of your hunger, even defending you to Gale after you go at her neck again without permission.”

“That was once- only twice-!” He pushed his finger out to correct her.

“And all you can do is give half-hearted compliments and bat your eyelashes whenever you need something. A potion, a moment, a warm body to bleed. I mean, have you even said thank you?”

Karlach put her hand between the two. “Shadowheart, I know you’re worried about her but you know that it’s can’t just one person's fault. It might not be anyone’s fault let alone Astarions.” She waved it up and down. “I think we’re all just tired-.”

“Don’t act like you’re physically incapable of talking to her yourself!” Astarion retorted above and below Karlach’s hand. “And my attempts to thank her have been pushed aside, thank you very much!”

“Ever try a full-fledged, verbal ‘thank you for feeding me every night, I appreciate you letting me suck you dry, Darling.’ ever?” She took a deep breath in, and on exhale she let her shoulder drop.

“Let’s just go up and check on her then.” Karlach successfully cut in.

Shadowheart reached into a small pouch on her person and thoughtfully brought out the little idol of Shar you gifted her the moment you could dust it off. “Do you know just how much she puts into our group?” Her voice was coated in adoration, and it made Astarion sick. “Or how much she’s already put in?”

Astarion knew. Of course he knew. He was well aware of how much he took, as well as often as did. But he always knew just when to stop, or at least he thought he knew. But that was before he started to find you in even the smallest corners of his mind, before he found himself keeping an eye on you in battle, before the guilt got harder to swallow. If he pushed your sincerity aside with closed eyes as he held out a beggar's hand, the weight of what you gave him would mean nothing if he didn’t have see what you were left with.

The strangers, travelers, your kind demeanor and hopeful act. Looking back to the Harper woman that marked your map, he wondered if the Light Inn was going to be enough to keep you going tomorrow. If it was enough for you to spare anything more after, or in the days to come. Gods, was the Harper woman a reflection of him? Where he only loathed her for sinning the same way he did; or for taking what he was saving for later? If anything, Astarion felt like he might as well just be another traveler to you. Someone that followed you around like hungry, dead weight. But he would never have to wonder how far you had carried him and six others, they had the map and markers. But he did wonder just how often he stole your living, breathing warmth.

Wasn’t that the plan, for him to bleed you dry? Then, now, and hopefully after?

“I don’t think Astarion would do anything to purposefully weaken her.” Karlach came to his defense. “That wouldn’t make sense, especially now. Besides, she is a big girl and can come to you if she feels like it.”

Shadowheart shook her head. “You know what? You’re right. And so are you, Astarion.” The little, rock carved goddess dramatically fell to her side alongside her hand as she turned. “Why am I even waiting for her to ask? I’ll be upstairs.” She ran and left Karlach to tend to Astarion.

“Fangs, you’re looking down, too. Don’t let Shadowheart get to you she’s been…” Karlach gave a sympathetic smile. “You know you can always talk to Mama-K.” Her laugh was aimed at herself as Astarion playfully rolled his eyes.

The two of them watched the floor before Astarion looked up to her. “Do you think I’ve done it this time?”

Without a second thought Karlach shook her head enthusiastically. “You might be right about the Underdark. There’s more on her mind than just you and me. Well, in her mind… I should say.”

“In our minds.” a pathetic laugh bubbled from the nausea. “I think our dark princess would have to agree with that. At least to some extent.”

Karlach met Astarion’s gaze with another sympathetic smile “I know you care,” she seemingly said out of nowhere. “I’m not the only one who sees it when you look at her. Even if it’s just a little. I think she at least knows that you care about her if Shadowheart doesn’t, ya’ know?”

Astarion slowly nodded with a confused look before Karlach lead the way to their room. When Shadowheart returned from her check-in with you, she paid no mind to Astarion for the rest of the night. Instead, she went straight to Karlach, and to what his eavesdropping could gather, he safely assumed that he was in the clear. He guessed you really did just need alone time.

After his vampiric rest, he lied still. Whatever light from outside cast patterns on the ceiling, and he cut them out into little pieces with Shadowheart’s steady breathing and some occasional snoring from Karlach in the background. Then he wondered what you sounded like while you slept. He hated that he didn’t pay attention the one time he could. Did you snore? If you did, were they raspy, hollow breathes or loud snorts that echoed? Maybe you were the restless dreamer where the shuffle of blankets and pillows would tell him you were just about to wake up.

Astarion found himself wanting to know and shot up before he could want to know more.

The wood was cool on the bottom of his feet. Without creaking, cracks, or splinters Astarion was able to move quietly out of the room into the hall. Lit candles lined the hallway to your room which felt more meaningful to him than it should have but he shook coincidence away and out of his mind. Instead, Astarion thought about how you pretended not to hear him earlier, he thought back to hands holding flames and he froze, feeling sick at your door.

I’m hungry, he told himself. I feel sick because I am hungry.

You sat on the edge of the bed, clearly expecting him with your hair pulled to one side and the right side of your neck exposed. “You’re late.”

“Only a little, darling.” Astarion made his way over to plant his right knee beside your thigh, his left leg between your own. “I hope I haven’t kept you waiting.”

“Hardly.” you whispered to the door behind him. “Besides, I can’t let you go hungry, can I?”

Astarion decided not to press you. “I suppose not.” He smirked as the breath of his reply sent goosebumps all over your neck and shoulders.

Tonight, you didn’t close your eyes in anticipation. There was no shiver down your spine or shudder in your breath when Astarion held both of your shoulders while he slowly sunk his teeth in. Hells, you didn’t even whine. It felt like kissing someone who wouldn’t close their eyes or kiss him back.

Astarion made it quick, hardly getting his fill. As he arose and took a step back to search you up and down for any sign of discomfort. There was nothing out of the ordinary, you paled like usual, especially in your lips, but your expression was unreadable. Visibly there was nothing wrong, but he wanted to listen to your beating heart just to be sure nothing was moving faster or slower than it should. Then without thinking, he suddenly and loosely embraced you in his arms to put his head to your chest.

“Woah, h-hey.” You jumped back on your elbows, crawling a step back on the bed.

Astarion’s hands shot up in the air. “I was just,” The look of innocent surprise that coated your body was cute until he remembered why you looked so venerable. He furrowed his brows as he massaged the bridge of his nose, coming off of the bed. “I-I didn’t, or- I don’t mean to insinuate anything, my dear.”

“Then...” The bed shook under his knee as you relaxed onto your hands, upright but leery. “What were you trying to do?”

“Nothing, really." He massaged his neck. “Unless-”

“Unless nothing.” You wildly grinned. “Unless nothing, Astarion. I really mean to have my alone time.”

“Are you-” Astarion squared his gaze onto the litters of goosebumps on your chest and shoulders while you self-soothingly rubbed your arms. “Are you cold?” His chest tightened once he realized you were suppressing the chatter of your teeth with a trembling jaw.

“A little.” The movement slowed as you stiffly squeezed your biceps. “Blood loss tends to do that.”

That’s right, he thought. Astarion of all people, or undead things, should know that the lack of blood meant a lack of warmth.

“Don’t you look so concerned. That’s not like you.” You coyly laughed. “I’ve been okay before, and I’ll be okay now. I am sitting on top of a completely made bed, you know?”

Astarion stretched his neck and sighed. “Of course.” He gave you a weak chuckle. “Well, I guess I’ll take my leave then. But if you need a little warming up, you know where to find me.” The rustle of sheets as you climbed under the covers made him scrunch his nose insecurely at the door. “Good night, darling.”

The following morning, Astarion could found sitting at the chess table, replaying the night before. Not for Raphael but for you. It more so that he was cringing at himself and his lack of control. The way your reacted to his embrace compared to his bite made his head spin with wonder and disappointment. The fact that his teeth breaking your flesh was better received than his concern was astounding. Realizing that if he was going to pull you into him, it was expected that he take and not give.

Was it that obvious?

You descended the stairs, the two followed behind, and you were practically glowing. Immediately Astarion felt relieved to know that Shadowheart likely made sure to cast a restoration of some sort today. He sat up a little as you wordlessly greeted him, watching you feel the right side of your neck with your left hand while your self-conscious chuckle furthered his optimism.

Sigh, last night, “Again, I didn’t-” Astarion started to apologize.

“Hush.” You made big eyes in reference to the two behind you. “You’re alright in my book.” Sheepishly grinning, you tilted your head and scrunched your nose before heading out.

As per usual, everyone followed your lead in battle. Successfully you collected the Moonlantern, freed a pixie from inside, and were already thinking about the next move back at camp the morning after. “I think we should scope out Moonrise before meeting with any head honchos.” You said near the empty fire pit at camp. “I’ll do my usual hoarding while we get a good look at the place. And this,” you pointed to a little circle with question mark inside, “I can hardly remember what for, but I think it was marked for some rumored supplies.” You wiggled your fingers in the air with feigned enthusiasm. “I would like this to be priority, actually.”

“Yes ma’am.” Karlach affirmed. “And I see that good ol’ Gale will be joining us today?”

“I shall be at your disposal, yes.” He smiled genuinely before it grew sheepish. “Of course, with the hopes that I would not be disposed of.”

Astarion rolled his eyes.

“Never, Gale.” You playfully smiled at Astarion. “You’re the last person here I’d do that to”

“Oh, don’t look at me,” he scoffed but you did, playfully through your lashes.

“Whatever you say.” You sung before quickly tucking the map away. “But today we’re just scoping, taking, and talking.”

Everyone nodded, and without another word were off to Moonrise.

To everyone’s surprise, the guards could not care less about your party going in. The parasite was like a VIP pass inside and the tadpole-less guests praised your every step. It was odd to be so easily trusted and to roam freely. Usually at least one person challenged your worm infected autonomy, but this was a nice yet eerie change.

But to nobody’s surprise nothing could ever go according to plan. Gale had opened the biggest and most obvious set of doors upon entry and interrupted a meeting between some goblins and Katheric Thorm. To the very left of where Katheric was sat stood Z’rell, the cult advisor that the guards outside said everyone must report to. And again, to not no one’s surprise, the meeting was nothing short of incredibly memorable with a show of immortal strength and the opportunity to sacrifice a small goblin herd at trial.

Astarion was curious to see what your heroic self would do when the fate of the goblin crews' lives was hurriedly placed in your hands. So, when you had asked them to stop speaking, ‘to not even breathe’, his heart raced with confusion and excitement.

That’s my girl, he thought. “But by the gods, I hope she’s okay.”

“Me too.” Karlach swallowed with disappointment.

Astarion cupped his mouth, not meaning to have said the second half of his thought aloud.

Karlach looked over to him, “I guess the Underdark really is doing a number on her.”

“It would seem so.” He kissed his teeth.

You waved everyone over to follow Z’rell upstairs. A whole new mission got added to the list and Astarion took in this small laugh of disbelief you gave him. In response he tucked in his chin and raised a brow as though to wordlessly ask what exactly had you expected after everything leading up to this.

The Tower was big, full of locked doors and overly trusting guests that roamed and for a moment there was some pep in your step as soon as you finally got everyone back on track. But once a broken wall produced just under 200 gold and a spell scroll, your disappointment was obvious as you bit your knuckle at the open chest. Without enthusiasm, you drew a little check mark beside the rumored supplies you prioritized this morning. Astarion would normally have something snarky to say but the glowing girl from earlier was having her light put out by her own optimism and he wanted nothing more than to do or say something that could bring back a spark. A pixie, perhaps. But before he could reach out to you, Karlach pushed through a door and on the other side of it was Araj who would come to make things worse.

The blood lusted alchemist was off to a bad start when she immediately noted Astarion as the ‘Pale Friend’, drawing a more than uninterested look from you as she spoke. “I can make one of a kind potion, just for you, from you.” She modestly smiled. “One prick, a drop of your blood and it’s yours. But I keep the rest for myself.”

After some curious questions, Astarion was surprised when you held out your hand to be poked. But then thought about how stupid it was to be surprised at that after the night prior. Instantly a potion was produced and carefully placed into your hands.

“Thank you-”

“Before you go, there is one other thing I would like to discuss;” she interrupted moved closer to you, but only to get a better look at Astarion. “Your friend.”

Astarion knew that he stood out in a room to anyone who knew anything about the undead. They could and often did sniff him out wherever he met them. So, when she inquired of his being a Vampire or spawn, he naturally reassured her that as a part of the absolute that everyone serving in Her name was safe in his company.

“Oh no, I hope for quite the opposite.” Araj watched you expectantly. “I assume he belongs to you?”

“Belongs?” A distasteful curiosity bled from your voice. “Excuse me, but he’s his own person.”

She smiled mockingly. “I’m sure he believes that.”

Distaste was a little soft, you looked and sounded appalled. Actually, to everyone in your corner, your face gave that word another meaning. The drow hardly asked for his name, if anything she flatly commanded it from the wide-eyed Vampire.

Your finger flew back to shush him, “Astarion” he too quickly answered. “But wait-.”

“Good.” She smirked. “Now-”

Your finger made its way around to her before she could continue. “Watch it.” You warned.

Astarion looked over to Karlach and Gale who were also caught just as off guard as you were. But she paid no mind to your hand as she explained her life-long, born from childhood dream of being bitten by a vampire. She looked too comfortable swooning as she talked about losing her blood in between life and death. “I’ll even give compensation. A potion of legendary power.” Araj bribed.

Astarion knew where this was going as Araj gave the details of the potion. He knew where he was and knew everyone had just a taste of power these cultists had. He knew that most people would be persuaded with this once in a lifetime offer. Who wouldn’t want guaranteed strength in a bottle? Most people would be, but he hoped that you weren’t most people because was unsure he would say no if you asked him to. He knew he owed you that much.

The Drow asked Astarion if he would bite her to which he kindly declined. Then she faced you, clearly taken aback. “Well, can’t you do something about him? About your spawn?” Astarion held his breath.

“He said no.” Relief flooded his body, causing his shoulders to drop despite his fixed posture in surprise. But you were stiff, straightening your neck as disappointment spread across Araj’s face. “What part of that did you not get the first time?”

“Soldier,” Karlach leaned to your ear. “I think we should get going.” She nudged your foot with hers. “We’ll be seeing you, Arash.”

“It’s Araj.”

“Right, sorry.” Gale apologized on Karlach’s behalf and bowed on the way out. Astarion followed behind him through a door that took everyone back outside.

Karlach seemed to be calming you down, and until Karlach mentioned it, Astarion didn’t realize that while Araj spoke you began to pet a dagger on your hilt. “We don’t need to get into trouble while we’re still on the Absolute’s ground. Not before we’re ready to be.”

Surely it wasn’t on his behalf, was it? No could care about anyone that much let alone another Vampire’s Spawn.

“I should’ve just done it. The doors were closed and who knows? Maybe she had the potion already on her. Or maybe not.” Astarion raised a brow as his stomach sank. “Fucking weirdo.” You muttered.

“Wow,” Karlach laughed. “Fucking weirdo, I couldn’t agree with you more, Captain.” She ran up as you walked around the tower.

Astarion blankly watched the back of your head from two people away as you grew quiet and stayed that way. He wanted to know what you were thinking and whether or not you were mad at him for being so unwilling or if your silence was left over from Araj. But there was also nothing planned after scoping out Moonrise, at least nothing anyone mentioned. Everyone settled on blindly following your lead as you spotted a hill with some makeshift graves.

“Gale,” you stopped suddenly at the foot of an overgrown root. “Can you head back to camp and grab Shadowheart?”

“Are you sure?”

You nodded. “I’d really appreciate something warm and hearty when we get back, and I love her but-.”

“No need, I get it.” Gale smiled, bowed, and waved everyone off.

Astarion watched Gale leave before he caught you and Karlach now raced to a patch of dirt. When he caught up with you, Karlach was watching out for Shadowheart as you picked through some choice graves.

“Sweetheart, are you robbing from dead Justiciars?” His shadow hovered over your hands. “Why have her join at all?”

“I’m sure she might know something about this site. But not a word about my scavenging, please.” With steady hands your swiftly placed the stones back the way they were.

Astarion’s index finger and thumb drew a line in front of his lips as he sealed them shut and threw away an imaginary key. “My lips are sealed.”

You snorted and smacked the dirt off your hands before Shadowheart materialized out of thin air, having everything to say about Shar’s faithful fallen soldiers. As she knelt to one of the graves, reverently running her hand across the rocks, Astarion caught sight of a dimly lit entrance. Karlach saw it too and pointed.

“Maybe we can check it out before we look for supplies in the buildings, we passed by…” her booming voice trailed off when she saw him, then everyone turned.

Raphael was mumbling to himself at the bottom of some steps at entrance of a cave. As Astarion began to walk only to see you were once again leading the way over. Again, in disguise, the devil gave the details of his deal to the whole group. All they had to do was kill an old enemy of his if Astarion wanted his scars decoded. The deal seemed sweeter than what he expected, simpler, maybe too sweet. But no one was sure what price was to be paid for translation.

Karlach leaned over to you. “Again, I really don’t know about this.”

Astarion rolled his eyes before he turned away from the cave. He just missed your response, and how Karlach retorted didn't fill in any blanks. “I don’t want to be tricked into doing that evil fucker's errands for free or find out that this order is for more than any of us can afford fill.”

“Well, for now,” Shadowheart shot Astarion a raised brow to measure. “I think should head back to camp. I think we could use a moment to relax.” She tilted her head to you with her eyes locked on Astarion.

You nodded mindlessly. “Yeah, or at least a moment to think”

Astarion began to open his mouth when Shadowheart chimed in again “Right,” sounding uncharacteristically chipper. “We should plan a little just before heading inside.

“I’m sorry you came here for nothing-”

“The graves of Justiciars are not nothing. Besides, I’m glad you thought to have me, even if it was just for a moment.”

Shadowheart was good at that. Being soft when you needed it. And Karlach was good at melting you into a giggling mess when she could. Most of the time Astarion could find something obscene enough to say, that pulled you out of your head to laugh. But lately he felt like him just being there was making it impossible for anyone to distract you from yourself.

You looked pensive the whole walk back to camp. After everything that had happened today from Moonrise, to goblins, to devils, Astarion could not pinpoint if it was one specific thing or everything that weighed heavy on your mind. What he could gather was how drastic the dip in your mood was after Araj, and Raphael. Both of those things happened to be tied to him and he got that funny feeling again. The feeling that he was taking from you without realizing it. That his mere presence was enough to make you bleed.

Astarion wished he had just said yes to drinking the Araj’s foul-smelling blood. He shouldn’t let you fight his battles and make his deals; he didn’t want you to anymore. Astarion was centuries older than you and yet you were the one holding his hand through the Underdark. Staying up late night after night so he could eat. And he found himself pondering it all too tenderly.

Scratch and the Owlbear cub zipped past you, hopping around giddily despite the gloomy scenery. Astarion felt a bit pensive himself. You were just as distant as you had been lately but tonight you were especially cold. Sure, you were healthier today than you had been for a while, and nothing seemed to tire you out. But there wasn’t the light and witty banter you spewed so effortlessly that he loved. He missed your observant and borderline judgmental comments on anything you stole from buildings and corpses. Even in Balthazar’s room inside Moonrise Tower, which brimmed with separated limbs and cold jars of blood, you made no snarky comment in correlation to Astarion’s diet. It would’ve have been easy, low hanging fruit by his standards; but at this point he was pulling on the branches for you to reach, you wouldn’t even need to jump. Astarion just wanted you to pick up something, anything really to throw at him.

“Hey,” You called out, making him unusually hopeful.

“Yes, darling?” He gave his most honest grin.

“Do you think we can trust him to keep up his end of the bargain? Raphael, I mean?”

“I trust a devil over a vampire any day. Besides,” with his hand on his chest, Astarion leaned back. “I think he likes us.”

How you slowly blinked and nodded flattened his hopes. “It’s your only lead, I suppose...” Scratch and the Owlbear nearly ran into you again, but you didn’t smile, flinch, or notice the animals despite watching them pass you two by. You were millions of miles away from everyone. Millions of miles away from him.

“Yeah, it is our only lead. My only lead.” Astarion reiterated defensively.

“I know, I know.” Your eyes screwed shut as you nodded some more. “Maybe we can go to the house of healing in case there’s something on Ketheric. Then after we can go to the cave.”

“Only after…” What was cause for worry before was now cause for slight agitation.

“Yes, well, I mean-” You threw your head back and up to the sky like itmight give you a clue. “Or..? Gods, I don’t know.”

“What don’t you know, sweetheart?”

“I-I don’t know that either. I don’t know what I don’t know, I guess.” Self soothingly you cupped your face and took a deep breath in. “What I do know is that’s it’s on my list.” You were staring at his neck, struggling to look up any further.

You sounded unsure of yourself, and while that made him sympathetic, it did more to make him anxious. “I guess I can only hope that it’s high up there. Afterall, this is the first chance I’ve had at deciphering my scars.” Astarion apathetically reminded you, unable to help his tone when he leaned into your ear uncomfortably close.

“Be a dear and don’t get in my way.” He spat.

“I won’t?” You turned to him equally defensive. “Don’t you know by now that you can just-” Astarion faced you, practically touching noses but nothing about the tension was romantic once he caught what looked like tears pooling in your eyes. “Y-you should know by that you can just...”

Karlach glanced over to what she likely saw as two people incredibly close to one another, “Oh, don’t look now but there’s PDA on the campgrounds,” she announced. Wyll let out a dramatic ‘Oo~’ that made her laugh.

Astarion was horrified inside and unable to think despite having that same snippy look on his face. But once the tears fell, he quickly pulled away, finally softening his demeanor. Karlach eventually looked over at you two when she hadn’t heard any smart mouthed response.

“You j-just have to ask.” You whimpered between labored breathes.

Karlach ran to your side before Astarion could think to speak. “What happened?” The concern in her voice caught Gale and Shadowheart’s attention. Gale quietly watched Astarion from a few feet away while Shadowheart raced over to place her hands on your shoulders the moment she arrived.

Shadowheart did what she did best lately, give dirty looks at Astarion from in the background. She had her head on your shoulder while Karlach tried to get some sort of response out of you. Shadowheart took her turn with her own line of questions when all Karlach could get was a pained look on your face. But there you were in the center of them making him sick again.

Astarion couldn’t handle himself as you cried. Never in his life had he so quickly regretted saying something to someone, let alone someone he grew so fond of. He felt worse as found himself noting how pretty you looked with tears down you face. All you needed was a break, maybe another night to yourself and right now he would give you all of them if he could help it. But he couldn’t, he never could. Astarion had to be sure that you were still on his side, and that you’d be waiting for him in his corner as though standing up for him in Moonrise Towers wasn’t enough.

Worry grew as Astarion thought about freedom of choice, and how much time had passed from the Tiefling party. You repeatedly declined his advances to have sex again, but he hadn’t made any significant or particularly tempting advances. In fact, he didn’t want to. Until now, he didn’t think he had to. In-between what he knew and what he wanted, Astarion wasn’t sure he would truly feel better if you just used his body like he needed you to. But if you wanted to, he would let you. It would be fair. It would make everything easier. It was what he thought he deserved. But there you were in front of him, reminding him that all he had to do was ask and it was his. He knew that if he said that aloud you would convince him otherwise, even if you had to do it sobbing.

That’s exactly how you made everything harder. Without your hands, without a leash, and without control, you had successfully made him care. When exactly that had started, Astarion couldn’t be sure but it was unsettlingly that the feeling crept in without a sound after he was so sure about having his heart set on using you. Maybe it started as selfishly as all things start, where wanting part of someone becomes needing everything else, they were. When being protected meant taking care his protector and being feed meant cleaning up after. Astarion wanted to switch roles to take care of you for once, he just didn’t know how to yet.

Shadowheart was about to call Gale over when you finally moved to wipe away your tears with the sleeves of your top were pulled over your palms. “Please don’t.” You pleaded with a nervous grin. “It’s nothing.”

“It is clearly not nothing.” Shadowheart squeezed your arms, her chin bouncing on your shoulder as she spoke. “You know you can talk to me. Or Karlach.” The Tiefling had her hands on her knees, crouching and nodding while Shadowheart spoke. “Or I can go grab La’zael but I don’t actually know what she would do for you. I don’t think she’s ever cried in her life...”

You let out an estranged laugh at the mention of Lae’zel. Shadowheart and Karlach’s whole demeanor eased up as they laughed with you. Coincidentally, Lae’zel started sharpening a blade which echoed throughout camp and softened the air significantly. Karlach headed to Lae’zel’s tent to have her shut off the wheel, Shadowheart kept her arm around your neck, guiding you behind Karlach. Astarion watched as each breath hiccupped in your shoulders, ignoring Lae’zel’s blunt form of comfort while he left to accompany Gale.

“You know Astarion,” he slowly stirred the strew from the very bottom of the pot to keep anything from sticking and burning. “She keeps a close eye on you when we’re out.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Astarion couldn't even try to pretend he meant that.

“I’m not trying to be. As cold as you are, no pun intended, I think most of us can tell she has a keen interest in your wellbeing, and I would suspect that you maybe return the sentiment.”

“I’ll have you know that not one of those earlier statements is funny or true.” Astarion tried to be coy. “Especially not now.”

“Deflect all you want my sharp-toothed friend, but I know you do.” Gale poured a bowl for himself, and a second one for Astarion.

“Don’t sound so sure of yourself.” He eyed the stew. “And Gale that’s just rude.”

From the corner of his eye, you watched him expectantly, with the same look you had when he drank you up at Light Inn. Shadowheart was shaking her head and rolling her eyes while Lae’zel spoke. “She doesn’t have to explain anything more. If she wants to sulk right now, let her.” Your Githyanki friend had this way of sounding harsh while looking concerned in her own funny way as she spoke. “Do you need more information to comfort someone you supposedly care for? Are those the teachings of Shar?”

“You’re one to talk,” Shadowheart huffed.

You were back and forth, looking between the two while seeming entertained.

“Astarion, my friend.” Gale held out the bowl to him. “I’m sure you know what I’m doing.”

He did. “Give me that.” He hissed and swiped your portion of food from Gales hand.

You watched Shadowheart as she turned to face him. “Astarion.”

“Shadowheart.”

“Good evening to you.” She avoided eye contact as she folded her hands.

Astarion bowed in a gentlemanly manner, tiling his head as he spoke to you. “I come bearing sustenance, my dear.” As you took the warm bowl from his hands Lae’zel tsked, and Karlach gave him a thumbs up despite pursing her lips.

“I see Gale made stew?” Shadowheart kept curt.

“I mean, I hope this is stew because if it’s not then I have no idea what she’s about to eat.” Astarion said sarcastically. “Although, in that case it’s better her than me.”

Astarion couldn’t tell if it was a good or bad sort airy laugh you gave him before you took a bite. But you with a free hand you motioned him to lean in again. You placed the bowl between your lap on the stool to cup his ear with both of your hands. Astarion tried to get a good look at you from the corner of his eye before you left his peripheral.

“You can feed on me again, if you’d like.” Gods you looked so pretty and venerable.

“I think…” Astarion thought about your breath and hands on his ear and tried to shake away the thought, “I think we need to talk, later.”

With the spoon in your mouth, you nodded again. “Okay, later.” You scooped up another bite.

Shadowheart was about to say something when you put your hand on her arm and shook your head. “I’m good. This is good,” was said so sincerely she didn’t try to fight it.

Astarion paid no mind to how the others reacted as he turned away to sit in his tent. The night couldn’t drag any slower even if it tried. You had disappeared into your tent after you ate, and so from in his own tent he was left to watch the rest of the weirdos interact and pretend that nothing happened. He stopped listening when Wyll started sharing some heroic tall tale and could only hope that you would still be awake after everyone else had fallen asleep. Truthfully Astarion had no reason to worry, he always found you waiting for him.

Your lashes were wet as though you just finished crying a second time, or maybe you hadn’t stopped. “You’re early.” You massaged your jaw as you spoke. “Or have I kept you waiting?”

“You haven’t kept anyone waiting,” he reassured. “And what’s with your jaw?”

“Just tense.”

Astarion hummed and squatted onto his ankles. “But you want to feed me anyways.”

The question caught you off guard. “Yes? Well, if you need to...”

“Hmm,” Astarion watched the ground. “You know, why do you do that to yourself?”

“Do what?" He watched as you played with your fingers, squeezing your right hand with your left and had realized that you were studying him.

“Weren’t you just crying earlier over something I said?”

“It was more than that.” You caught yourself before you could elaborate and Astarion felt himself growing impatient again.

“What do you mean more? More how?”

The tips of your fingers turned white as you continued to squeeze and contort them. “It was just more. Beyond you, and them, and me.” As soon as you looked down at your hands you finally stretched them out in front of you for some relief. “Didn’t you say that you wanted to talk with me?” You pointed to yourself in an awkward attempt to lighten the mood.

Astarion sucked in his lower lip and sighed. “I did, didn’t I?”

Astarion stared at you through his lashes as he made his way onto his knees. “My dear, I wanted to talk to you-” A scornful Shadowheart appeared in his head and he winced. “Well. I more wanted to thank you.”

“Thank me?” Your head shot up from your hands in your lap. “What did I do? You’re being a little mushy on me.”

“I know, aren’t I full of surprises?” There was a pause as he thought about how to word what he wanted to say next and saw how the silence made you anxious. “But you stood up for me in Moonrise Towers when you didn’t have to, and respected me when I said no. I can’t even remember the last time anyone’s done that for me.”

“Oh.” You smiled. “Of course.”

Astarion was unsure of how to explain himself but he wanted to try. “I know I’ve talked about Cazador and the things he made me do. I would use my body to lure in any pretty thing with a pulse and push aside all the disgust that came with it because I had to.” Your hands balled up in your lap. “For a long time, it has felt like that was the only thing I know how to do. Cazador's commands became second nature, his voice still lives in my head. It’s like I forget I’m not under his control. You’ve helped me remember I don’t have to do those awful things anymore.”

Self-consciously, you hugged yourself at your elbows and took another deep breath in. Your mouth opened to speak but only let all the air out.

“You can ask me questions.”

“If it filled you with disgust, if it was awful, then why did you...” You squeezed your eyes shut like you didn’t want to confirm some sinking suspicion. “Why did you sleep with me?”

Astarion didn’t like your cautious tone. “Why are you asking like that?”

“No, you just said- why did you sleep with me Astarion?” Your eyes bore into his. “Please just answer.”

“I needed you to protect me,” He observed your body as he had been while he spoke. “I needed to ensure you’d never want to leave me.”

With your palms upright you stared at the space between you two. Astarion waited for you to say something but wasn’t sure what he expected. He didn’t know what he wanted to hear.

“I hope you know, I would never.” was unexpected, welcome even, but it was not enough to satisfy his guilt.

“Are you not upset with me?”

“Do you want me to be?” Your eyes rounded with curiosity. “I just told you that I want you to know I would never leave your side, not willingly I should say.” Your voice trailed off in reflection. “I had never thought to, actually.”

After centuries of being beaten down, torn apart and stripped of reason, you were just going to tell him that it was, okay?

Astarion wanted to feel relieved. Astarion wanted to believe you without trembling, without balling his fists over his knees, without something telling him that should know better than to expect understanding. For years he had to get used to knowing that in Cazador's eyes he had always been below forgiveness. Especially the kind that needed no proof of his repentance.

“What’s wrong?” Your hand fell into view, hovered above his lap and without touching him you guided his chin up so he would face you.

Once again you were putting yourself aside to comfort him with a face that was drenched in concern. “I feel awful, you know. And you’re making this too easy. I have spent most of our time trying to seduce you, which was easy at first but then you just stopped. You just kept giving without taking which was just what I had hoped for. It was what I wanted- until suddenly it wasn’t.” Astarion shook his head when you nodded in understanding, “You knew it all along, didn’t you?”

It was maybe a few seconds of silence but it felt like a lifetime while in his self-appointed judgement seat.

“Not all along.” You looked up thoughtfully, “I didn’t think much of it until you wanted to bed me again."

“Oh?” His own curiosity spoke cut through the doubt. “What gave me away?”

“It was when you said,” Astarion winced as you cleared your throat and sat tall to give him a vivid visual of his act. “‘How about I try everyone's favorite? Just three little words? I love you'... Well,” You looked at his lap again, “it’s funny now.” You weakly smiled. Your hands flew over your mouth as your face twisted in embarrassment as Astarions mouth fell slightly open. “I realize that sounds like I wanted you to mean- well no. Yes- wait, no! I-It's not because I,” Your hands fell into your lap before you rolled your head from the ceiling down to him. “The realization hurts, but I guess conformation is worse.”

Something about you losing your spark flitted across his mind again and without thinking, Astarion leaned in to cup your face tenderly. His cold hands clearly caught you by surprise but you didn’t move away. In his hands he held your swollen bewilderment and kind eyes. He wished he could see what you did in him. “If you’ll let me,” He traced lines over your chin, up to your eyes, the tip of your nose, before he made it back to your gaze. “I would like to have the chance to give you something real.”

A warm smile in-between repose and disbelief made him weak. Another moment of silence passed as your eyes mapped out his expression. “Oh, shit,” you said with a slow falling simper that made your bottom lip tremble. “You mean that, don’t you...”

“I do.” He whispered tenderly as his thumb moved to still the shake. “But only if you’ll let me.”

You closed your eyes and let your head complete relax in his hands. Astarion took this as an opportunity to lift you closed to his face while your brows knitted together in anticipation. Slowly, he placed a kiss on your chin, your left cheek, then your right, before bringing your forehead to his lips. Your hands latched around his wrists as you pressed your head into his right hand. “Does this not bother you-?”

“Not one bit.” He mirrored you. “But on that note, I think I need more time for intimacy. Or, maybe I don’t want that at all anymore. After everything.” His eyes dropped to your chin.

“I can wait,” You reassured. “Whether or not that’s in vain. I don’t mind; we don’t have to have sex.”

Astarion could feel his whole face open as he straightened his posture, and yours. His usual wit and charm were coming back to him. “Well, we’ll see if that proves to be a challenge.”

You rolled your eyes and were about to pull away when his fingers pressed into your face to keep you still. “Yes?”

All he could see were your lips, “May I?”

Astarion was already moving in before you closed the distance. With your lips on his, his hand on the back of your neck, while another cradled your jaw, the only thing he could think about was just how warm you were, how soft and alive you felt on his mouth. But even in his hold he felt like he needed to chase you. You were being too gentle for his taste, too safe on his lips. Astarion was sure you could feel his growing hunger as his hand snaked to the base of your head to hold you by your hair, guiding each kiss with his neck before you finally opened your mouth, inviting him in.

Still, it wasn’t enough.

Astarion stood on his knees, not once letting you back away for air as he craned his neck to deepen a kiss that nearly pushed you onto your back. A drawn-out, reverberated whine melted in his ears as you pushed into his waist. But when you let go of him to support yourself, Astarion dragged his teeth on your bottom lip with a final peck before breaking away. You were panting as he sat back on the floor, smiling in his hold as his fingers were still tangled in your hair. Astarion pulled you into his arms, guiding you head into his shoulder before he drew circles on your back. As your heaving slowed, he pressed you flush against his chest like he’ll lose you if he couldn’t feel your heart against his own. “I’m sorry-”

“Don’t be.” You held him just as tight and that seemed to finally satisfy him.

“Thank you, my love.”

Astarion nearly purred when you pecked his neck. “Don’t mention it.”

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